statement of purpose transfer essay examples

How to Write a Successful College Transfer Essay 2024

It’s hard to write a one-size-fits all approach for college transfer essays . Why? As Dan Nannini , Transfer Center Director at Santa Monica College , pointed out to me last week, “Every student is just so darn different.”

He’s right. And given the great variety of reasons for students transferring—from military deployment , moving from community college to a university , to simply not vibing with a particular school—it may seem impossible to create a method that can work for everyone.

But I’d like to try.

So below, I’m going to lay out steps for writing a strong college transfer essay, and offer some college transfer essay examples.

And, as with all my other resources, take this is not The Only Way but instead A Pretty Good Way .

As a transfer student wondering how to start a transfer essay, you’re probably dealing with some version of this prompt:

"Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve."

I happen to believe there are…

Seven Essential steps for writing a transfer essay:

Establish some of your core values.

Explain why you chose your current school (the one you’re leaving) in the first place.

Offer specific reasons why you want to leave your current school.

Show how you’ve made the best of things in your current situation.

What do you want to do/be/study? (aka: What’s your dream?)

Outline how the new school (the one you’d like to transfer to) will help you realize your dream.

Close it out short and sweet. Bonus points if it’s in a memorable way.

IMPORTANT: The key to presenting each of these qualities isn’t just in WHAT you say (your content), but in HOW you say it (your approach). What follows is a paragraph-by-paragraph breakdown of what to do and how to do it, followed by some great example personal statements—and yes, I’m suggesting you focus on establishing one quality per paragraph. Here it goes:

how to start a transfer essay- Paragraph 1:

Establish some of your core values

What you’re trying to do here: In the opening paragraph you want to make an awesome first impression. And, given that first impressions are often established in the first 30 seconds and that this impression isn’t likely to change (even when,  studies show , people are presented with facts that contradict their first impressions!) your first paragraph better be on point.

How to start a transfer essay: One efficient way to make a great first impression is to focus on establishing a few core values or, if you can, the essential part of you that is suffering in your current (school) situation.

How do you identify your core values? Do this 5 min exercise .

How do you decide which part of you is suffering in your current (school) situation? Well, just ask yourself, “Which part of me is suffering in my current (school) situation?” and, if you wanna’ get deep, ask yourself, “Which of my deeper needs isn’t being met at this school?” Click here for a list of Feelings and Needs. But here’s the key: you may not want to just come out and say it, as that can be boring.

How can I express my core values in a way that’s not super boring? Come up with an essence image that captures that value (or those values). In the sample below, for example, the student wanted to communicate her core values of connection, intimacy, family, and listening. So she chose the dinner table:

Breakfast isn’t the most important meal of the day. In my family the most sacred meal is dinner. The aroma from my mother’s authentic Persian saffron and Barberry spirals around the circular dining table as we prepare to pile each other’s plates high with current events, future plans, and questions about what we learned that day. Slowly, the notification bells and piercing ring tones are replaced by the clamor of metal utensils as my sisters try to fit the plates and silverware around our carefully crafted dinner table. Each person sits the same distance from the center as we listen to my little sister’s attempt at hopscotch from earlier that day with as much interest as my Dad’s stories about his patient with Atherosclerosis. Listening is how we take care of one another.

Another example:

Before I could even walk, my parents instilled in me a love for history. And thanks to their passion for travel, much of my early education was experiential. At eight, I could not only recite knowledge of Corrie Ten Boom, I'd visited the house where she'd hidden Jews in her home during WWII. By 10 I’d seen the Roman Ruins just outside Paris and by 11, I’d visited Rome and Florence, and begun to develop a passion for Michelangelo. By 14 I’d climbed the caverns of Mykonos and by 16 I’d walked barefoot through India and jogged along the Great Wall of China. Though moving around wasn’t always easy, travel gave me the opportunity to become more adaptable and resourceful, and I came to embrace differences as not only normal but exciting. My passion for cultural experiences and history continued in high school, and I looked forward to more experiential learning opportunities in college.

See how each example immerses us in the author’s world? And note how their descriptions awaken the senses. So much more interesting than if the authors had simply said, for example, “the values that are important to me are connection, intimacy, family, and listening.” Instead, each author shows us. And I’m not by the way just advocating for “ show, don’t tell, ” because you’ll notice that both authors show AND tell. In the first example:

First the author shows the value:

Slowly, the notification bells and piercing ring tones are replaced by the clamor of metal utensils as my sisters try to fit the plates and silverware around our carefully crafted dinner table. Each person sits the same distance from the center as we listen to my little sister’s attempt at hopscotch from earlier that day with as much interest as my Dad’s stories about his patient with Atherosclerosis.

Then, to make sure we get it, she tells us what that value is:

Listening is how we take care of one another

And in doing so, offers a bit of insight (for some specific techniques for adding insight/reflection to your writing, head there).

Now that's how to start a transfer essay. Okay, let’s move on.

Paragraph 2: Explain why you chose your current school (the one you’re leaving) in the first place.

What you’re trying to do here : Let the reader know how/why you are where you are. Because, y’know, the reader might wonder.

How to do this: Simply. Factually. Succinctly.

I originally chose Pasadena Community College because I wanted to a) stay close to home to take care of my mom, who was recovering from cancer when I graduated high school, b) save money by living at home and finishing my general ed requirements for under $50 per credit, and c) help my dad at his TV repair business.

See how simple? Just the facts, ma’am.

I was obsessed with Top Chef as a kid. While most of my friends were thinking about which expensive summer program they’d attend or whether or not they should take the SAT for the sixteenth time, my mind was on how to whip eggs to create the perfect "lift" in a soufflé and developing a long term strategy to create my own food television network. So I originally chose Drake Colonial University for its Culinary Arts program. And because it was two miles from my house.

Note the specifics. Also note how the reasons are clearly different and could be bullet pointed.

Wanted to be close to home (take care of mom)

Help dad at work

Drake’s Culinary Arts program

Two miles from me

This part doesn’t have to be flashy, but you could use a couple succinct examples to add a little something (“take the SAT for the sixteenth time” vs. “how to whip eggs to create the perfect "lift" in a soufflé”). Notice also how Example 2 above could serve as the opening paragraph, as it also establishes a couple core values (creativity, excellence, entrepreneurship, practicality). Which leads to an important point: Don’t take this as a strict by-the-numbers guide. Take what’s useful; discard the rest.

Paragraph 3: Offer specific reasons why you want to leave your current school.

Heads-up: This is probably the most important part of the essay. Why? Essentially, you’re explaining to someone (a college) with whom you’d like to be in a relationship why your last relationship (with that other college) didn’t work out. In short, you need to talk crap about your ex but still be really nice about it.

NO I’M KIDDING. You’re not talking crap about your ex.

What you’re (actually) trying to do here: You’re trying to articulate, with specifics, why you want to leave your current situation.

11 Essential Tips for Transferring Colleges

How to do this:

Three tips:

Consider describing your expectations and then letting the reader know whether or not those expectations were met (you don’t have to do this—it’s optional)

Use specific reasons (to avoid sounding like you’re just talking crap)

Consider including an a-ha moment (in which you discovered something about yourself)

Let’s address these one by one:

1. Let the reader know if your expectations were or were not met.

Some students want to transfer because they had a plan and it worked out, and some students transfer because they had a plan that did not work out.

The “My expectations were met and the plan worked out!” Example:

I originally chose Pasadena Community College because I wanted to a) stay close to home to take care of my mother, who was recovering from cancer when I graduated high school, b) save money by living at home and completing my general ed requirements for under $50 per credit, and c) help my dad at his TV repair business. Achievements unlocked! Now that my mom is cancer free, I’ve finished my general ed requirements (with straight As!) and my dad has hired my uncle (in other words: he doesn’t need me anymore), I’m ready to move on.

Notice how in this example the author seems to say, “Great! I did what I planned to do and it’s time to move on.” That’s one way to do it. Sometimes, however, things don’t work as planned—and, in this next example, it’s no one’s fault:

The “My expectations weren’t met (and it’s not the school’s fault)” Example:

I originally chose Northwestern State Tech for its renowned global health program and looked forward to studying under Prof Paula Farnham, a titan in the global health world. Soon after my arrival, however, Prof Farnham took an indefinite leave of absence when she was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Notice how in this example things didn’t go according to the author’s plan, but it’s not the school’s fault; it’s just the way things turned out. But that’s not always the case, and sometimes you honestly just want out.

“My expectations were not met, this was NOT the plan (and I’m not saying it’s the school’s fault but honestly I just don’t want to be here anymore)” Example:

Initially, Drake Colonial University stood out to me for its culinary arts program and I looked forward to working side-by-side with top-rated chefs, experimenting with gastronomy and Sous-vide and finding others who shared my geeky passion for Transglutaminase. Unfortunately, my experience after arriving differed greatly from the one I’d imagined in at least three important ways: 1) the DCU culinary arts program was focused much more on the theory of cooking than actual cooking (all my finals last year, for example, took place in a classroom using pen and paper rather than in a kitchen); 2) access to supplies and facilities was extremely limited and most were off-limits to underclassmen, and 3) no one here had even heard of Transglutaminase.

Pulling this one off is a little trickier. Why? First of all, because there may be a lot more emotions wrapped up in your decision to transfer than in the two examples mentioned above. As a result, some part of you might honestly feel that it IS the school’s fault you’re so unhappy and some part of you may actually want to talk crap about the school. Here’s a tip: DON’T. It won’t make you look better or smarter—it’ll just sound like you’re complaining. Here’s your greatest ally is in this situation: concrete, specific reasons. Let me say this a little more boldly:

2. Provide specific evidence demonstrating how your expectations were or weren’t met.

If your expectations were met, great! Just outline your plan , then show how you rocked that plan—maybe even throw in something bonus that happened (and I even did it while keeping a full-time job!).

But whether your expectations were met or not, you MUST give specifics to support your points. In the sample above, for example, it wouldn’t be enough to say, “Unfortunately, DCU wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…”

Why? We need proof! Examples! Specifics! So in that example above the author first lets us know what she expected (hands on! experimentation! other food nerds!) before letting us know specifically what she found instead: theory instead of hands-on (boo) limited access to experimentation (aw) no other Transglutaminase nerds (I am sad).

Why it can be useful to clarify what your expectations were:

It kinda’ lets the school that you’re leaving off the hook, essentially saying that it’s not the school’s fault entirely, it’s just that you wanted something else, which makes no one the bad guy.

The more specific you are with exactly what you want, the easier it can be for the readers at your potential future college to imagine you on their campus (hopefully the readers will be like, “Oh! We have a great hands-on, experimental Culinary Arts program filled with food nerds!”) and maybe even start to root for you (i.e., want you to get your needs met).

Side note: Actually, I guess it is kinda’ like talking about an ex, but instead of saying “He was awful because of X,” you’re framing it in a positive way, saying in effect, “It’s not his fault, I just realized I was looking for Y.” (And, hopefully, your reader will be like, “Ooh!! We have LOTS of Y at our school!”) And sometimes, let’s be honest, we didn’t know what we were looking for until we got the opposite.

You didn’t know how important hands-on experimentation was until you ended up in a culinary arts program where all the “cooking” tests were done with pen and paper.

You’re a girl who didn’t know how important freedom to hold hands with your girlfriend in public was to you until some people at your school told you that you couldn’t do that (see example essay that follows).

Just to clarify: You don’t have to act like you had it all figured out before you got to your first school. You could:

3. Consider including an a-ha moment (one in which you discovered something about yourself)

Template for this:

It wasn’t until I experienced X that I realized Y [this core value] was so important to me.

It wasn’t until I sailed through my first semester with no homework and straight As that I realized how important intellectual challenge was to me.

Someone once said, “We don’t recognize our home until we lose it,” and the same was true for me. Not until I moved 620 miles away to X school did I realize that Y school—which had been in my backyard all along, just 20 minutes from the church I was baptized in, the grandmother who raised me, and the one I love most in this world (my dog, Max)—was home after all.

Got the idea?

And by the way: if you don’t get 100% specific here with your desires, don’t worry—you’ll have a chance in two paragraphs. You can keep your desires a little vague here.

Paragraph 4: Show how you’ve made the best of things in your current situation.

What you’re trying to do here: Show the reader you’re not the kind of person that just rolls over when confronted with adversity or goes in the corner and pouts when you don’t get what you want. Instead: how did you work to meet your needs? What did you do about it? (Note that if your expectations were met—if, in other words, this first school was all part of the plan—this is your chance to brag about all the cool stuff you’ve done!)

How to do this: By being creative. Positive. And by reframing everything you’ve been involved in since graduating high school (even the tough stuff) as preparation for your big awesome future.

Some examples of making the best of your experience at a school you’re about to leave:

There was no formal Makeup Department, so guess what. I STARTED ONE. WE’VE GOT 16 MEMBERS. BOOM.

My classes were so much bigger than I thought they’d be AND there were no formal study groups set up, so guess what. I ORGANIZED ONE. AND I EVEN BAKED BROWNIES. #glutenfree

There were no legit dance studios on campus OR in the dorms open after 7pm, so guess what. I PETITIONED TO LIVE OFF-CAMPUS AS A FRESHMAN, FOUND A TINY APARTMENT WITH A BASEMENT THAT OUR TEAM COULD REHEARSE IN, AND WE GOT TO WORK. #werrrrk

You get the idea. How did you make the best of a just-okay situation while you were waiting (or before you decided) to fill out your transfer application? If you’re thinking that the part-time job you took, the decision to quit school, or even the Netflix shows you binge-watched wasn’t ultimately preparing you for your big awesome future, you’re just not thinking creatively enough—yet. Ask yourself: could it be that I was gaining other skills and values along the way? Could it be that I was doing more than just earning money (hint: learned organizational skills, or discipline, or collaboration), more than just quitting school (hint: learned to put your health first), more than just binge-watching Netflix (hint: learned how much you value productivity by being totally unproductive for three weeks straight).

Here’s a list to get you thinking.  

And if you’re like, “Um, well, I didn’t do anything,” chances are that either a) you didn’t really think carefully or creatively enough yet, or that b) YOU DON’T DESERVE TO TRANSFER.

I’m kidding about that last one. Kinda’. Keep thinking. This part’s important.

Paragraph 5: What do you want to do/be/study? (aka: What’s your dream?)

What you’re trying to do here: Paint the Big Picture—the vision for your life, or a dream job. Don’t have one? Uh-oh. Quit now. (I’m kidding.)

How to do this: By dreaming. Ask yourself, What would a dream job be—even if it isn’t your only dream job, and even if you aren’t 100% certain that this is what you’d like to do—and use it as a placeholder, like these students did...

I’m particularly concerned about beauty waste because I am morally disturbed by the fact that my personal grooming is damaging the environment for everyone. The problem is that cosmetics are often objects of desire—we want to be pampered and we crave a luxurious experience—and packaging reflects these consumer instincts. My dream is to rally college communities nation-wide in a drive to reduce packaging waste. As a community of passionate learners and intellectuals we can spread the message to student groups in colleges that protecting the environment trumps our desire for the most wrapped-up, elaborate, expensive packaging.

My dream is to become a special effects makeup artist with a specialty in fantasy-based creature makeup. Through an extensive process that includes concept design, face, cowl, and body sculpting in clay, molding the pieces using liquid latex or silicon, applying the products to the human model, hand-painting and airbrushing, and fabricate addition components if necessary, I will create original characters that will be featured in movies and television shows.

I know, that’s pretty specific. But again, these were written by students who weren’t 100% certain that they wanted to do this—they picked something they loved and built an argument (read: essay) around it.

If it’s hard for you to think in terms of careers or dream jobs, try asking one of these questions instead:

“What’s one Big Problem I’d like to try to help solve in the world?”

“Why do I want to go to this other school anyway?” Have you ever stopped to really articulate that? Have a friend ask you this and see what you say. And it can’t be simply because it’s more prestigious, or because you like living by the beach, or because you just really (like really) want to live in a big city. You need more specifics and more specific specifics. (That’s not a typo.)

A Really Good Tip for This Paragraph: Think of this as a set-up for a “Why us” essay , in particular the part where you’re talking about YOU… your hopes, dreams, goals, etc. Because if you can pick something specific—and even if it’s a placeholder (like the examples above)—this can lead directly into the next paragraph. How? Because, once you pick a Thing you’d like to do/study/be, then you can ask yourself, “Okay, what skills/resources/classes will I need in order to do/study/become that Thing?”

For more “Why us” resources: Click here for the Why This College Essay Guide + Examples . Or click here for a Complete Guide to the “Why Us” Essay.

To recap: In Paragraph 5, you’re setting up the specifics that you’re seeking. Then...

Paragraph 6: Outline how the new school (the one you’d like to transfer to) will help you realize your dream.

What you’re trying to do here: Depends. On what? On which of these two options you choose:

Write one essay for ALL the schools you’re applying to . Why do this? Maybe you’re short on time. Or maybe you’re kinda’ lazy (sorry, efficient!) and don’t really see the value in writing a different essay for each school. That’s fine.

Write a different essay for EACH of the schools you’re applying to. Why do this? It shows each school you’re applying to that you cared enough to spend the time researching and have really, really thought this through. I also think it gives you a better chance at WOW-ing the school and demonstrating why you’re a great match.

FAQ: Can you write and submit a separate essay for each school? Yes, as of this writing (2022), Common App allows you to edit your personal statement as many times as you like. So you can write an essay for School X, then submit to School X. Then go back into your Common App, copy and paste in the essay for School Y, then submit to School Y. And so on.

WARNING: If you choose to use this method, you MUST make sure not to submit the wrong essay to the wrong school. That’s a really quick way to get you into the “no” pile.

How to write one essay for ALL the schools you’re applying to (Option A):

If you opt to do this, you’ll want to mention the kinds of classes you’d want to take the kinds of professors you’d like to study with, etc. But I don’t want to say too much more about this, as I’d actually prefer to spend more time on the other approach (Option B) because I happen to think it’s a better way. So here’s:

How to write a different essay for EACH of the schools you’re applying to (Option B):

By researching. A lot. This paragraph is basically a mini “Why us” essay, and you’ll want to include as many specifics as you can find. Click here for a list of resources. But you won’t find the content for this paragraph in your beautiful amazing brain. Why? Chances are you don’t KNOW yet what specific opportunities the school you’re hoping to transfer offers. So go find out.

Here’s a great example of what great research might yield (excerpted from the Complete Guide to the “Why Us” Essay ):

A journalist cannot reach the peak of his craft if his knowledge of literature and critical thinking skills are weak, which is why I’m excited to explore what the Department of English has to offer. I look forward to courses such as 225: Academic Argumentation and 229: Professional Writing, as I believe these will provide me with a firm basis in journalistic writing technique and improve my abilities to write analytically and develop well-supported arguments. In addition, the Professional Writing course will teach me how to write in a concise, straightforward style, a skill vital to a journalist.

See how specific he is? And how he says why he wants each course? Also, notice how his separate reasons can all be bullet pointed. We could break down the paragraph above, for example, into a What I Need/What You (the school) Have list that might look like this:

WHAT I NEED:

knowledge of literature and critical thinking skills

a firm basis in journalistic writing technique

ability to write analytically

ability to develop well-supported arguments

ability to write in a concise, straightforward style

WHAT YOU (THE SCHOOL) HAVE:

225: Academic Argumentation

229: Professional Writing

Professional Writing course

And bonus points if you can find stuff that is closer to unique to that school (or maybe even actually unique). For example:

I would also like to be able to contribute my experiences with neurotechnology to support the cutting edge research in Cornell’s brand new NeuroNex Hub. I would love to work with Dr. Chris Xu in expanding the current three-photon microscope to be applied on various animal models. I also look forward to helping Dr. Chris Schaffer, whose research on deep neural activity is not being done anywhere else in the world. I freak out at the possibility of helping him develop a tool to look at multiple brain areas at the same time. 

If the school you’re hoping to transfer to is maybe the only one that has certain opportunities that fit your goals … say so. Show them how you’re perfect for each other.

Paragraph 7: Sign off.

What you’re trying to do here: Close it out. Hopefully in a memorable way. But honestly it doesn’t need to be amazing. It needs to be short.

How to do this: Succinctly. Ask yourself: Is there anything else I need to say? Like, really need to say? Hopefully you’ve said it all already. If so, just close it out with 1-2 short lines.

Here are a few options that other students have used:

The “bringing it back full circle” ending:

My pulse will always race when I'm creating my grandmother's cacio e peppe for a party of eight. Yet cooking wasn't meant to be my career or my college experience. I learned I truly, deeply, profoundly love chemistry, and only through transferring to [insert school here] can I [name specific skills/resources you hope to gain], becoming a world renowned chemist specializing in global nutrient efficiency and bringing an end to world hunger.

The “my experiences made me who I am” ending:

Once I thought about it, I realized that if I hadn’t dropped out, I would have never [insert formative experience here], and I would have never [insert positive value here]. Looking back on this part of my life, I realized that dropping out was actually the best decision I could have ever made.

The “I have a dream (and you can help!)” ending:

I’m inspired to continue my work spreading nutritional information and resources to low-income communities like the one I was raised in and am committed to helping create not only a healthier future for my own family, but for the larger Latino community. I believe [insert school’s name] can help.

The “I’m looking for a home” ending:

Finally, the students and faculty that I met on my visit were [insert positive value here]. They made me feel that [insert college here] was a place I could call home.

Obviously don’t copy these word-for-word; let these inspire you. Or write something else altogether ( you have lots of options for endings )!

My advice: Aim for the heart. But be concise.

Ready to see how it all comes together?

Here’s an example essay—and I’ll put tiny notes in bold and italics in between the paragraphs so you can remember what to look for.

1. Core values: experiential learning, multiculturalism, embracing differences

2. Why she initially chose X school

One of the things that initially attracted me to Biola University was the Torrey Honors program. I also appreciated the welcoming attitude of its students, and, initially, its emphasis on Judeo-Christian values. But the past year and a half has given me time for introspection, and I have begun to see that Biola and I are not the best match.

3. A polite articulation of why she and the school are not the best match

I believe, for example, in the freedom to express love for whomever one chooses. But on at least one occasion at Biola I’ve been reported to my resident director for displaying physical affection toward another girl and have been told I could risk expulsion if we were “caught” in the act. I also believe that one should be free to express her spiritual beliefs in any way she chooses. At Biola, however, students are required to attend a minimum of 30 chapel events, and must pay upwards of $300 if this requirement is not met. I’m also interested in a diversity of perspective, but faculty are required to teach through a Biblical lens, and over 90% of the students in my department (Anthropology) are seeking to do missionary work following graduation. Finally, I didn’t feel the Torrey Honors Program provided the kind of experiential learning environment I was looking for.

4. How she made the best of things — and learned some great lessons and skills!

Two highlights of my time at Biola included debate, and the experience of founding BQU, a safe, but underground group for queer students. Working with the debate team has taught me how to be accountable for my own work and more humble in my losses. Working with BQU has shown me not only the necessity of being vulnerable with others, but has also taught me skills in creating a group constitution, designing a website, and advertising our cause in a non-inflammatory way.

5. What she wants to do (a.k.a.: the dream)

I’ve always been interested in psychological or environmental root of motives, and I see myself one day working in public policy. I’m seeking science and social science departments that offer both excellent research facilities and opportunities for practical application.

6. How she’ll pursue her interests at her new school: a mini “Why us” essay

I am interested in the debate team at Fordham because its Jesuit tradition inspires an intellectually rigorous environment. While my current team is very skilled, it does not fulfill my intellectual values; I want classmates who want to explore controversial topics despite their personal stances, and who want to take debate as seriously as their social lives. My desire to explore diversity is also reflected in my major (Anthropology), and draws me to the Irish Studies department. I am personally looking to revive my cultural heritage, and I am also interested in helping oppressed cultures thrive. I see a need to promote how Celtic culture shaped current American society, and want to explore the gender roles of early Celtic culture.

7. And we’re out.

Although my time at Biola has been challenging, it has given me time to discover my own values, ethics, and priorities. I am ready to find a place where I can feel at home, and Fordham is a place where I can picture myself reading Nietzsche in my dorm room or working on progressive debate resolutions with the squad. I hope to contribute my interests and values to the Fordham tradition.

For what it’s worth, here’s an alternate ending that she wrote for another school (Haverford):

Because of my childhood—learning history experientially through travel—I am hoping for a similar style of learning through my college experience. I believe that Haverford can provide this through its independent college programs, bi-college programs, and Ex-Co. My interests in criminology, environmental public policy, and gender studies are not normally included in traditional learning. I hope to take advantage of courses that exist outside of a strict department, such as Epidemiology and Global Health, which “examines the interplay of biomedical, societal and ethical concerns in global health.” This is important to me, because as a current anthropology major, I believe it is important to take into consideration all aspects that affect decision making in government and humanitarian efforts. Restorative Justice: A Path to Criminal and Social Justice is also a class that piques my desire to promote rehabilitation of the incarcerated population. Because I understand that social systems are intertwined, my interest into other topics grew. Furthermore, I am interested in advocating for the LGBTQ community in relation to the legal system. I wish to take Haverford’s bi-college program in gender and sexuality in order to view criminology from an LGBTQ lense. As a student who intertwines academics with extracurricular involvement, I am impressed by the Ex-Co’s ability to provide learning opportunities outside of class. Additionally, I am drawn to extracurriculars that can also increase my knowledge of the world, such as the Debate Team. While Haverford’ current team is out of commission, I hope to get it up and running, and give students another place to speak their opinions confidently. As a member of the LGBTQ community myself, I am looking forward to a place where I can openly express myself, not only in a social arena—through the QDG- but also in a political arena—through the SAGA. The two women’s centers also address these two important needs, one a need for activism, the other a need for a safe space, including that for male feminists. As an individual with various networks, it will be nice to continue having a religious community, but Grace Covenant Church Fellowship appears to be more inclusive than the one I have previously been involved with, as well as providing an opportunity to expand my own network to other schools in the area. Because of my focus on activism, I was impressed by Haverford’s Honor Code and the Plenary. These encourage students to acknowledge the importance of civic involvement, and inspire students to improve campus policy. This particularly appeals to me as a student who feels my voice is currently not heard at Biola University. I hope to contribute ideas on how the school can help students continue to feel part of the community and celebrated for their differences.

For those wondering, this student ultimately ended up at Reed College in Portland. She’s very happy there.

And why shouldn't she be? Nice campus, right?

What should you do next?

Before you begin writing your essay, ask yourself:

Is there a way I can visit the campus(es) of the school I’d like to attend?

Can I set up an interview with an admission officer from the school (s)—either in person or via Skype/Zoom/etc? (Call or email the school to find out.)

If yes to either, you can use the info you gather there in the “Why us” portion of the essay.

If no to both...

Copy and paste these questions somewhere and begin your essay...

What are my core values ? In particular: which ones are suffering most in my current situation? (But don’t say that they’re suffering yet—just stick to the positive in your first paragraph.)

Why did I choose my current school (the one I’m leaving)?

Why do I want to leave my current school?

What are the specific things I’ve done to make the best of things?

What do I want to do/be/study? (aka: What’s my dream? Or: What’s one big problem I’d like to solve in the world?)

What specific skills and resources will I gain at this new school that will help me in realizing my dream?

What else do I need to say before signing off?

If there’s nothing left to say, just sign off.

Bonus: Two example college transfer essays with analysis

Note: the student requested that the name of the original college be anonymized.

I will never forget being eleven years old and skiing in the countryside, away from downtown Beijing. With little air pollution, the sky was dark and the Milky Way was mesmerizing. In the endless starry sky, I saw endless possibilities. It was then that the most basic human drive started to dominate me: curiosity about the world. I have been an amateur astronomer and a science nerd ever since. 

W College offered me a substantial scholarship and an invitation to a special program, which provided me with a chance to work closely with professors and the college’s president. Looking forward to meeting more people with geeky enthusiasm for astronomy and harboring the dream of becoming a scientist, I decided to attend W College.

While at W College, a number of events altered my career goals. The loss of a family member due to severe air pollution made me see the brutal reality of the world—there are people suffering from disease, pollution, and millions of people can’t even get an education. I realized that the focus of being a scientist should be to help others and contribute to society. Moreover, my experience of being a TA helped me find a new passion—teaching and inspiring others to pursue their curiosity. Meanwhile, I also began to develop a deeper passion for astronomy and theoretical physics. Finally, I came to understand that by pursuing a Ph.D. and coming back to China to become a professor in these fields, I can help other people and contribute to education while also doing research to satisfy my own curiosity at the same time. 

Therefore, I shifted my priorities and sought teaching opportunities as well as opportunities related to studying astronomy and theoretical physics. However, at W College, there is no Astronomy department, and, by the first semester of my sophomore year, I had taken the highest level astronomy courses that are offered at W College. Looking for more opportunities, I found Prof. M who is providing me with an opportunity to study Relativity. Since many external research opportunities are not available to international students, I reached out to Professor M and began to undertake research on an asteroid, a black hole system, and several other topics in astronomy. 

Even though I made some progress, I knew that I needed to be challenged more; I needed a university that would assist me in my later pursuit of graduate studies in astronomy and physics and that would provide deeper academic offerings and more research resources. So I decided to transfer. 

After visiting Wesleyan, I knew it is an ideal place for me. Academically, Wesleyan provides deep academic offerings in astronomy and physics, including advanced courses like Mathematical Physics and Radio Astronomy. During my visit to Wesleyan, I met with Prof. William Herbst, and his research interests in star formations really inspired me to work with him on this research topic, which is possible at Wesleyan due to Wesleyan’s strong research-focused environment. Wesleyan also has some of the best research facilities in astronomy of any liberal arts college. Prof. Herbst gave me a tour of the Van Vleck Observatory, and the 24-inch research telescope amazed me. Furthermore, the graduate program at Wesleyan also makes my pursuit of graduate studies possible, perhaps even collaborating with the same professors. 

From my conversations with several students at the Astronomy department, I felt their curiosity and enthusiasm for astronomy, and being able to study with them excites me and makes me feel a sense of belonging. They emphasized how they closely collaborate together every day. This close community between students as well as the cooperative study environment would really help me, a transfer student, adjust to a new school. 

While my time at W College has helped me discover my own priorities, values, and goals, I believe that Wesleyan will best help me achieve these goals.

Tips + Analysis

Hook into your values. Above, the author uses some simple, beautiful images as a quick hook, but does so in a way that allows them to fairly quickly lead into one of their core values (curiosity) while also setting up their primary academic focus (astronomy). You have a lot of options for possible hooks , but if you’re having trouble, a quick, specific image can be your go-to move (especially in an early draft—you can always experiment later), since you can almost always find some kind of image linked to your values, and can frequently just reverse-engineer your hook this way: What values are you going to end your first paragraph with? What are some images that come to mind from your life that illustrate them?

Be clear and direct with why. In the third and fourth paragraphs, this author does a great job of condensing what some students might have taken several hundred words to write into a clear, direct structural component that helps us understand why they are transferring (realized what my values/priorities are → my goals shifted and I can’t do what I want to do where I am). As mentioned in the guide above, it’s great to write this in a way that makes clear that there’s no animosity or resentment for your current school—you simply don’t fit together. That’s ok.

Get super specific in the “why us”. This example is packed with nice “why us” details—I count at least 12 in the span of 194 words across 2 paragraphs. The author does a nice job of helping us see a) that they’ve really done their homework on Wesleyan, and have clearly thought out why they and the school fit together academically; and b) that they’ll make a great addition to the community, and have already engaged with the students whom they’ll join. Details like these make it easier for your reader to picture you on campus, engaging with professors and other students and adding to the school’s vitality.

Three countries, eight cities, 11 houses with six families, and ten schools. During my frequent moves from Korea, Canada, and the U.S., fashion has provided a consistent creative outlet. In elementary school, I painted magazine covers; in high school, I got creative with my strict dress code; in college, I built my own jewelry brand “Horizon Jewelry” for a marketing project which sparked my interest in marketing.

 I attended Chapman for its programs in communications as well as its proximity to L.A., which offered internships in fashion. However, as a full-time student who planned to work an on-campus job and lived an hour away, I was unable to apply for my desired internships that required their interns to be locally based and dedicate at least 15 hours. 

 Furthermore, my major Strategic and Corporate Communication did not incorporate my interests in fashion and film. Recognizing the incompatibility between my major and intended career path, I applied and was accepted as a PR and Advertising major at Chapman University Dodge College. However, the school did not offer any fashion courses.

 I found opportunities for development by joining a professional business fraternity, Alpha Kappa Psi. Through events, I learned professional interview etiquette and received feedback on my resume and elevator pitch. I developed my leadership skills as an organizer of our social events. These experiences taught me the value of constructive criticism and improved my public speaking skills. 

 I also worked for Chapman’s Disability Center. I assisted disabled students and served as a liaison between students and professors, which led me to join my  fraternity’s service committee where I volunteered at the City Net Bake Fest, serving the homeless population. 

 After discovering my interest in marketing, I began a telemarketing position for Chapman Fund. I call Chapman community members to build relationships, provide campus news, and raise money for the university. This job has allowed me to possess excellent communication and customer service skills. 

 While working on-campus, I continued to search for opportunities in fashion. In January 2019, I discovered a remote marketing internship with Relovv, a sustainable fashion marketplace. Through Relovv, I’ve learned how to create content to advertise on Relovv’s Instagram stories, recruit members, and contribute to organizing influencer collaborations. 

Now, I’m ready to move onto the next phase of my education studying Media, Culture, and Communication at NYU Steinhardt. 

 My dream is to create global campaigns for fashion or film organizations that prioritize conveying underrepresented messages, and ultimately work at Refinery29 or Kenzo. Outside class, I plan to gain more experience in the fashion industry as a fashion marketing intern at Lie Sang Bong, a brand originated in Korea. I believe NYU’s unique communications degree which incorporates fashion and marketing will provide me with the necessary tools for my career path. 

Show growth and trajectory. In the intro, this author quickly ties into their primary focus (fashion) and beautifully builds through some brief “ why major ” details, showing impressive growth (from painting magazine covers to building their own jewelry brand). This specifically and directly sets up why, sadly but clearly, they need to break up with Chapman…

It’s not you, it’s me… well, it’s kinda you, too. In the body, the author offers several clear details for why, ultimately, they need to break up with Chapman—unable to apply for internships, didn’t actually have courses that fit specific career path, etc. And the author does a nice job of demonstrating how they tried to make it work, by engaging with the opportunities they did have—joined a business fraternity, organized events, contributed to the community through the Disability Center and service committee, worked for the Chapman Fund, interned with Relovv—but that they need to find a partner (NYU!) that aligns with their interests (communications degree which incorporates fashion and marketing!).

Show what you bring to the new relationship. As mentioned just above, the author spends a good chunk of word count discussing ways they tried to make the best of the situation with Chapman. But notice that these kinds of details work a double shift—they help us see how the student will be an asset to the NYU campus and community by showing how they’ve done so at Chapman.

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How to Write the ApplyTexas Essays for Transfers, Re-admits, and Transient Students

Whether you’re transferring from another school, applying for readmission, or looking to supplement your ongoing degree with courses at an ApplyTexas school, this article gives you the information you need to craft stellar application essays.

If you have not read CollegeVine’s How to Write the ApplyTexas Essays (2019-2020) , check it out before you read this article. It offers great general advice for how to approach this application. Keep in mind that your essay prompts are different than those of most applicants. This article offers a detailed breakdown of how to write to the prompts specifically for transfer, re-admission, and transient students.

General Tips for Writing ApplyTexas Essays as a Transfer, Re-admit, or Transient Student

Determine which essays are required before you start writing. While you are welcome to respond to every prompt, only a few are required for each University of Texas school. Check out the requirements for schools on your list before beginning your essays.

Write your essays in a word processor. If you’re typing essays into the ApplyTexas portal directly, you may lose some of your work before you get the chance to submit it. Instead of drafting on the ApplyTexas portal, create a new file in a Word Document, Google Doc, or similar word processor. Many of these softwares have the added advantage of a grammar and spell checking tool.

Explain your unique path to this college application. As a special applicant, you have a little extra work to do in terms of persuading the university that you are a good fit for the school. Admissions officers want to know why you are applying to college now. Whatever your unconventional path to ApplyTexas has been, these essays should weave together your life story into one coherent narrative. You want both your past experience and reason for applying to make sense to those reviewing your application.

The great news is that, in many ways, you are better positioned to wow admissions officers than the typical applicant. While high school seniors are full of potential, you have the added benefit of age. Your dreams and ambitions have already been vetted by experience, and you have a better sense of what good your education will do for you in the long run. With that in mind, be sure to address how your additional life experience has prepared you to succeed.

How to Respond to the ApplyTexas Prompts

Notice that for topics A, B, C, and E (but not D), your prompt is different from that of a traditional applicant. See below for tips and examples on how to tackle each one.

Topic A (U.S. Transfer, Transient, Readmit, International Transfer) Statement of Purpose

The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.

Explain your situation. For this essay, it’s critical that you address why you are applying at this time in your life. “Extenuating circumstances” refers to any aspect of your life story that does not fit the mold of a traditional college applicant. Maybe you’re applying after taking time off from school. Perhaps you have attended a few semesters of college only to realize it is not the school for you.

Frame your life as a narrative with an admissions theme. Your application presents a series of facts, but you are more than just facts. Use this essay to show how your life experience has made you into the person you are today. Whether you state it outright or imply it, your essay should fill in the blank for, “I am applying to college now because ______________.”

Good answers include:

• …I have learned from my DUI and want to pursue a career in teaching to help others make better choices than I did.
• …I discovered my love of science a bit later in life.
• …the depression I experienced in my current environment has shown me that your school is a place where I can thrive.
• …only your school provides the specific courses I need to complete my degree in physical therapy.

One thing that should stand out with these admissions themes is that they are very specific. Use the details of your application to weave together a narrative about why college, why now.

The scratch of pencils, a familiar sound, filled my high school gymnasium. Metal dividers separated one watchful student from another, such that for once I did not have to arch my arm over my paper to protect the knowledge I had worked tirelessly to obtain.

We fell into a rhythm as the twin scents of sweat and stress permeated the stale air.

I have always been a straight-A student, and taking that AP Chemistry exam felt like just another notch on my belt at the time. Back when I confused learning with the chronic headache I felt every test day, these moments made me feel like the king of my school. I was the only student in that room to get a five on the AP. When I learned, I was elated—I thought to myself, I deserve it.

Cut to Chemistry 201 at Cornell, and I am in a similar room again. The metal dividers have been replaced by empty air, as gaping holes between the modern desk designs assure students that their answers are protected. My eyes are itchy, as I read, “Draw the Lewis Structure for Isopropyl Acetate.”

I freeze. A jumble of Hs and Os, spills out of my head on the page, but none of it makes sense, even to me. I scribble it out and move on, figuring I can make up the lost points on another question. The next three questions receive similar gibberish, and then time’s up. I cannot make eye contact with my TA when I hand in the exam.

Better luck next time! scrawls an optimistic grader atop the test I have failed. I look down at the correct answers, which appear just as much like gibberish to me as my guesses. Study harder, I think to myself. You know you can do this!  

Eventually I ace the course, but even after I have crammed the right configuration of atoms into my skull, I come to find that this has not been my first taste of failure after all. I cannot remember the last time I called my mother. I cannot remember the last time I had a meal. Of the five hundred students in my class, I do not know the name of a single person. Each of my siblings has had a birthday since I started college, and I have not celebrated any of them. There is a world beyond Chemistry, and I have failed it with my obsession to be the best.

Transferring to Corpus Christi represents my next step in preparing for the only exam I care about anymore—the test of life. Two years ago, I never would have considered applying to a college a mere ten minutes away from my home. I would have flaunted its active student life and connections to the community I love in favor of fame and prestige. But I have learned that my real success was never leaving home. I want my legacy to be building up the people and places that have built me. 

Topic B (U.S. Transfer, Transient, Readmit, International Transfer)

If you are applying as a former student and were suspended for academic reason, describe briefly any actions you have taken to improve your academic abilities and give reason why you should be readmitted. If you are applying as a nondegree seeking or postbaccalaureate applicant, briefly describe the specific objectives you wish to accomplish if admitted, including the courses in which you would like to enroll.

Answer “Why now?” For readmission applicants, explain what will make you a better student now than previously. If your school has asked you to leave, chances are you know why they no longer wanted you on campus. Perhaps disciplinary action was involved for academic integrity, a criminal offence, or disruptive behavior due to an untreated mental illness. This is your opportunity to put the past behind you and move forward.

What have you learned during your time off? What past wrongs have you sought to amend and how? What gives you confidence that this time, your performance at the institution will be different?

For baccalaureate candidates, use the space to explain how you came to realize additional undergraduate coursework was necessary. How will this new degree prepare you for your future career? Why are you pursuing these courses now rather than as part of your undergraduate degree? Paint a picture for your readers about why it is important for you to return to school now.

Incorporate evidence, such as anecdotes and quantitative metrics of your success. This essay is one of the most important you will write, so it has to be polished. If you only request feedback for one essay, do it for this one.

Adopt a more formal tone for this essay. While many other essays invite creative, descriptive responses, this prompt is designed for a direct, persuasive entry.

I hit my personal rock bottom in October 2018, when a campus police officer at UT Austin apprehended me for attempting to sell marijuana to my fellow students at a party. That drug test was my bill come due for the drug abuse I had embraced, ironically, out of fear that I would not succeed at UT Austin. When I faced disciplinary action, it seemed I was on the fast track to a life of drugs and crime, but looking back with a year of perspective, I see that the incident proved to be a blessing in disguise. The past twelve months have provided me with opportunities to get sober, discover my interest in real estate through my first paid position, and address the underlying issues that made me turn to substance abuse in the first place.

Immediately upon vacating my undergraduate dormitory, I checked myself into a thirty-day rehabilitation program, where I experienced a combination of physical pain and mental breakthrough. My AA sponsor, transformed my life through the power of his example. Once mere hours away from losing custody of his children, my sponsor turned his life around and showed me that no one is beyond redemption.

With the help of my sponsor, I secured a position as an administrative assistant with a real estate agency in Houston. The satisfaction of a job well done became my new high as I scheduled meetings, researched listings, and coordinated with clients to help them find the perfect home. Clients fascinated me with the diverse life stories and priorities they brought to their search for a home, and I found myself staying late to conduct research and talk to our realtors about their experiences. As a social person, I loved discovering a profession in which I could be paid for listening carefully and helping someone achieve a dream. Over the summer, I earned my realtor’s license and recently closed escrow on my first deal. Even if I am readmitted to UT Austin, I will continue my real estate work part-time. I see my formal schooling as an opportunity to increase my impact in this sector in the long-term.

But life is more than what one does for a living. This past year gave me the space I needed to dive into the most important thing—my relationships. After ten years of not speaking to my father, I reconnected with him, going so far as to visit him three times in Minneapolis. My time in rehab showed me how much my reliance on substances was escapism from the pain of losing my relationship with my father during my parents’ divorce. I feel as though, in reconnecting with him, I have given myself and my family the gift of an emotionally healed version of me.

Returning to UT Austin next academic year would bring me full circle. My priorities have been upended entirely and in the best sense. Instead of dealing drugs, I would be a source of support and a potential mentor to students facing similar struggles with addiction. Instead of approaching my studies out of fear, I would strive academically, knowing that the foundation I lay now sets me up to have a stronger benefit on others in the real estate industry. Having reconciled with my father, I would enter the campus with a strength and wholeness that I could not even have dreamt I would bring this time last year. Leaving UT Austin has made me a new man, and it would be my honor to bring that new self to campus. Thank you for considering my reapplication.

Topic C (U.S. Transfer, Transient, Readmit, International Transfer)

There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

Highlight your unusual circumstance. Is there any way in which you do not feel like a typical college applicant? What has been different about your life relative to your peers? These are good questions to keep in mind as you draft your response to this prompt. What makes your application unique may be something negative, like a death in the family, or a positive development, such as an unusual talent you have pursued.

Emphasize your growth and maturity. Regardless of your essay topic, demonstrate how this exceptional circumstance has made you into the person you are today. If you cannot think of any way in which your circumstances have changed you, then that may be a sign you need to choose a different essay topic.

A bit about me: I’ll bet I am your only applicant this year who knows what pigeon meat tastes like, or how to make shoes out of cardboard boxes, how to concoct a Christmas feast out of old tortillas and canned tomato soup. For years after my family immigrated from Juarez, Mexico, I was the only student in my school who needed free or reduced lunch, the only person who could not afford to go on field trips, the only foreigner.

If, four years ago, you had told me I would breathe a word of these aspects of my identity in a college essay, I would not have believed it—me, go to college? Not with a track record like mine. As a stack of statistics, my record was not promising. But I am learning that poverty, ethnicity, and difficult life circumstances are what you make of them.

I have learned to prefer a different list of onlies: I am the only person who was taught to read before Kindergarten by my big sister. Thanks to my mom, I’m the only girl at my school who has met all my city council members, state representatives and congresspeople. I am the only student I know who has met every cousin, aunt, uncle, and been to every grandparent’s grave.

When my school district began an initiative to redraw the boundaries of which neighborhood it served, I was the only student to protest discriminatory redistricting. That led me to become the first student representative to serve on the school board. Though I began school doubting I would graduate from high school, I have gone on to write a bill proposing increased spending on community, which State Senator Juan Hinojosa recently sponsored.

My commitment to education equity is what draws me to apply to Texas A&M, where the degree I earn will empower me to help students in poverty to rise above their circumstances. On campus, I hope to be a first generation student serving in student government, the first Latinx student to earn presidential recognition for my service, the first undergraduate to run for student office.

Progress always starts with an only, a first, but it does not have to end there. Through my activism, I hope to build a legacy of getting involved and advocating for better treatment. My children and grandchildren will inherit a family tradition of strong women who speak up for the marginalized. Applying to Texas A&M is another first for me, but it’s only the beginning of my story.

Topic E (U.S. Transfer, Transient, Readmit, International Transfer)

Choose an issue of importance to you—the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope—and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Showcase your intellect. If you are drawn to this prompt, that probably means there are a few ideas that matter a lot to you. Your topic can be anything from how to bake the perfect pie to why the national debt crisis is the greatest concern facing our generation. Choose a topic about which you are knowledgeable, then write in such a way that demands your readers consider your point of view seriously.

Make a point. This prompt invites you to talk about something you care about, so don’t shy away from speaking your mind. Rather than summarize the views of others, try to insert your own voice and perspective into an ongoing debate.

Avoid divisive issues. This topic has a difficult balance to strike. On the one hand, you want to write about something that really matters to you. On the other hand, taking a strong stance on a polarizing issue could alienate your readers. Use your best judgement when it comes to selecting your area of interest. Share essay drafts with trusted friends and family members to get a sense of whether your topic will cause the admissions committee to react negatively.

Would you want to wake up to bed sores, feel the dull ache of blisters cracking under your weight? Or to have your only connection to the outside world be a plastic button that worked but sometimes? Would you want to subsist on a diet of mealy muffins served on teetering trays? To hear the demented ravings of your peers as they battled the demons standing between them and the grave?

Most of us don’t like to think about these questions—they make us uncomfortable. That’s why we don’t talk about the approximately 1.5 million Americans currently residing in assisted living facilities. Most do not know, or care, that the assisted living population is expected to double by 2030. We are too busy enjoying our own youth—or else nipping and tucking our own signs of aging—to confront the crisis of apathy we have created when it comes to the elderly.

“Growing old ain’t for sissies,” as my Nanna liked to say. At first as a visitor then as a volunteer at her assisted living facility, I learned about the thousand losses that make advanced aging so difficult. The young do not listen to you, diminishing your autonomy with daily restrictions on your freedom, while the old abandon you as, one by one, they pass away.

I was in the bed with my grandmother when she died. Though she could not form sentences of her own, she could still pray the Catholic prayers she had learned as a child, mouthing the “Hail Mary” with me into morning’s early light. I started another decade, but her voice was not humming to the rhythm of my words. By the time I found my mother and brought her in, my grandmother’s sallow face showed that the end had come.

Witnessing her death, and the grim days that preceded it, had a profound impact on me. Watching a woman who had led our family for so long become dependent and senile taught me that my own independence was fragile and temporary. It gave me a sense of perspective every time I had a setback at school.

But when I tried to talk about my experience with friends, nobody wanted to hear about it. That is not to say they did not want to listen, but they seemed unable to bear the discomfort even of hearing about end of life care. “Won’t you be surprised when it happens to you,” I remember thinking, a callous response even if it does raise a point.

I wish more people cared about the elderly the way I learned to from my time with Nanna. An elder used to mean someone you respected, not ignored. Our choice as a society to distance ourselves from that pain and suffering makes the plight of the elderly even worse. What is more, it denies the next generation the vital perspective that makes them good stewards of their own lives.

Dear reader, if I could persuade you of just one thing, I would ask you to read those first questions I posed to you again. If you live long enough, this will happen to you. And it’s happening to people who need you now. I ask you, if you had to grow old, would you want to go through it alone?

That’s everything you need to know to get started on your own unforgettable essays. Be sure to start early, write often, and review your work before sending it in. Your college essays may not be a walk in the park, but they give you a great opportunity to explain your special circumstance and showcase what makes you a strong candidate. Happy writing!

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

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The College Transfer Essay Examples Database

Access Sample College Transfer Essays For Free Here!

If you're planning to transfer to another university, you’ll need to submit several transfer essays as part of your application. Writing a compelling transfer essay can be challenging, especially if you're not sure what admissions officers are looking for.

At Quad Education Group, we understand how important the transfer essay is to your application, and we're committed to helping you succeed. So, to help you get started, we've compiled a collection of transfer essay examples from successful students who have transferred to top schools. These sample essays are meant to show you what admissions officers are looking for in a strong transfer essay and serve as models for your own essays. 

Our transfer essay examples cover a range of topics, including why the student wanted to transfer, what they hope to achieve at their new school, and how they plan to contribute to the college community. 

How Does Quad Education’s Transfer Essay Example Database Work?

All you need to do is enter your email, and you’ll have access to over 20 sample college transfer essays, including examples from universities such as the University of California, New York University, Texas A&M, the University of Washington, and the University of Southern California.

In addition to offering transfer personal statement samples, we offer a range of services to help you with your transfer application, including transfer essay editing and application counseling .

Do's and Don'ts of Writing a Transfer Essay

Here are some do’s and don'ts you should follow when writing your transfer essay.

• Be honest and genuine when explaining why you’re transferring
• Be clear about the reasons why you’re transferring. Make sure the reasons are reasonable and thought out
• Explain how your current school has helped you work towards your goals. Focus on the positives
• Research your future school. Look into specific classes, clubs, and opportunities that interest you
• Remember, transfer essay prompts can be different, so be sure to answer the exact question asked
• Proofread your essay. Check for grammatical and spelling errors, typos, and proper paragraph structure
• Don’t criticize your current school. You should avoid negative comments about the school and instead talk about why the new school is right for you
• Going over the word limit. This shows you can’t follow instructions
• Reuse your previous admission essay
• Ramble on your essay. You should keep your essay concise and straight to the point

Here are some frequently asked questions and answers. 

1. What Does a Good Transfer Essay Look Like?

A good college transfer essay clearly articulates the student's reasons for transferring and how the new institution aligns with their goals. It should be well-structured, personal, and showcase the applicant's unique experiences.

2. What Not to Write In a Transfer Essay?

Avoid writing a transfer essay that focuses on negative experiences or complaints about your current institution. Instead, emphasize positive reasons for your transfer and how the new school aligns with your goals.

3. How Do You Write an Essay About Why You Want to Transfer?

To write a college transfer essay, explain your reasons for transferring and how the new institution fits your goals. Highlight your achievements and what you hope to gain.

4. How Long Should My Transfer Essay Be?

Your transfer essay should be 500-750 words, single-spaced, and closer to 1 page. It should have a conversational tone but be free of loose writing, contractions, slang, and clichés.

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Six Examples of Apply Texas Transfer Essay E Issue of Importance

Cat adoption booth in Lima’s Kennedy Park

UT-Austin requires transfer applicants to submit two essays. Everyone must submit the Essay A Statement of Purpose, which I discuss in this post.

You have the option to submit Essay C regarding any special circumstances, Essay D that allows for art criticism, and most applicants choose to submit Essay E Issue of Importance.

Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I provide some tips in this post , and below I present six real Essay E examples to give you an idea how you can approach this prompt.

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Poverty, Education, and Microfinance

It was six AM, and I could barely keep my eyes open for more than fifteen seconds. Curled up in layers of blankets, I attempted to connect with my family in India over Skype. Ready to give up, suddenly my childhood friend appeared in the upper left-hand corner of the screen. We came from drastically different backgrounds. Her mother, a widow, viewed her a burden by her caste-based community. Her mother worked as a maid and ran several informal businesses in her neighborhood. Over the years, her mother saved enough for my friend’s education. Many others in her community, however, were not this fortunate. I believe that an important tool for fighting poverty is access to reliable financial resources at reasonable prices and basic technology like computers. Growing up, I shared with her lessons that I learned from my more privileged school. India’s education system that serves disadvantaged children does not equip them with basic English and math skills, necessary for high-paying jobs. I had the privilege of growing up with computers, and I tried to share my skills with others. When I was young, the unequal access to educational opportunities seemed unfair. I have observed a strong relationship between education levels and poverty. I have a desire to solve this issue by empowering families to finance their education to a large extent. In India, poverty isn’t abstract and addressing the problems requires hands-on experience. I participated in an entrepreneurial project in high school. My team and I created a “Mobile Lab” that transported teaching aids, books, activities, and sports equipment in a functional automobile to poor communities. We conducted market research on the feasibility of our model, and we consulted various experts. Funded by charity donors, the Mobile Lab proved a cost-efficient way to get resources to needy learners. We also donated our time and helped tutor the students in basic language skills. Additionally, we raised funds for physically and mentally disabled children supported by the Samarthanam Foundation. Children growing up with disabilities face a particularly difficult life in India and developing countries. Through these projects, I learned that there can be innovative solutions to fighting poverty. My experience with these small efforts helped me realize that, beyond finance and education, addressing poverty requires a nuanced understanding of the relationships between cultures and communities. Instead of ignoring problems and distracting myself with social media, I learned the important lesson that collective action could produce some good. Individuals working together can create scalable solutions that can be used in other communities. With growing emphasis on materialism, our generation needs to be more sensitive to the needs of others and work towards an inclusive, humane society. Here at Houston Community College, I have observed similarities between India and the United States. Although poverty in Houston can be less apparent than cities in India, many of my classmates are hardworking people trying to make their way out of poverty through earning an education. I am interested in working with microfinance institutions, which, although pioneered in places like Bangladesh, are becoming increasingly popular in the United States. There needs to be an alternative to predatory payday loans and cash advances. Finally, I want to continue my higher education for further learning and research to spread financial literacy and make economic change more inclusive. I want to explore financial strategy, information systems, and investment management to develop solutions. I noticed that the key to my friend’s success was her mother’s thrifty financial management and the path she took as a small-time entrepreneur. This experience with my childhood friend has inspired me to pursue my own social entrepreneurship ambitions in the field of finance. 

This admitted McCombs student chose to use their Essay E discussing India and microfinance to complement their Essay A Statement of purpose, which discusses receiving education in both the US and their home country.

It’s a wise approach to discuss an issue of importance that fits into your first choice major to demonstrate that you are making an informed major decision and how UT can help you achieve your goals.

Their response strikes a healthy balance between identifying national and international issues and what they’re doing at the local level to address economic inequality. A common mistake I see applicants make when discussing poverty is assuming that the problems are “out there in poor countries” and not evident in the US.

This applicant goes the extra mile by observing how issues they’ve encountered in South Asia are also prevalent in Houston and the United States. Their essay is thoughtful, nuanced, complex, and doesn’t overstretch by claiming that they’re solving global poverty in 650 words.

With their 3.8 GPA and receiving a decision after all others had been released, there is no doubt in both of our minds that their two essays tipped the scales in their favor.

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Swimming and Injuries

“Take your mark. Go!”  The starter’s mechanical voice, amplified and sometimes distorted by poolside loudspeakers, signals the start of yet another race. That ubiquitous, soothing command feels more natural to me than the sound of my own pulsating heartbeat, remaining constant and steady despite navigating the uncertain seas of adolescence. With this, I believed swimming would always be there––at least, until it was not. In the blink of an eye, part of my identity was swept away and I was left desperately clinging to nothing. My childhood dream of swimming in the Olympics––to be remembered in history––crumbled before my eyes. I grasped at the memories of what once was and grieved over what could have been. By the age of three, the water was my home. I felt more comfortable in an eighteen–feet deep, ten lane, twenty–five mete swimming pool than on dry ground. By age eight, I swam every day for my local swim club alongside the older summer swim team. By eleven, I rose to my swim club’s second–highest level. I swam two hours each day with an hour of dryland practice twice a week before practice. However, during a grueling and intense practice freshman year, my dreams tore apart––literally. A team of doctors diagnosed me with scapular winging, rotator cuff tendinitis, and an extra bone near my calcaneus that caused flexor hallicus longus (FHL) tendinitis. Basically, I overused and irreparably shredded my shoulder. My fate was written. My swimming career was over and rehabilitation was not an option. I was caught in a riptide of two different currents: who I aspired to be, and who I truly was. I couldn’t accept this radical change of identity. I stumbled predictably through each stage of grief: denying anything was wrong, anger for not listening to my body, trying to find any way to re–enter the pool. Everything in my life reminded me of my perceived personal failure and dreams forever deferred. One day, however, something switched. As if handed fresh goggles, I accepted a clearer outlook on life. I reframed my failures. Though I lost swimming, I found meaning in a renewed social life, a normal teenage existence, and a better relationship with my family. I prioritized my health and embraced new opportunities and challenges, new aspects of a multifaceted identity. After so many rounds of doctor’s visits, specialist referrals, and complicated diagnoses, it occurred to me.  I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be in the secret society of medicine with their facts, white lab coats, and remarkable self–confidence. I resolved to help other injured young athletes repair not only their bodies, but their minds. With this startling realization, I trusted that my initial “failure” ushered in something new. I began to consider a career in the specialties I personally experienced, such as orthopedic surgery and physical therapy. I imagined helping those who similarly experienced a drastic life change. I had once believed swimming was my calling; the pool would be my forever home. But as I became older, I reconsidered this belief––maybe swimming was not my true calling after all. Maybe it was never meant to be anything more than a stepping stone to my true calling, medicine. Following years of recovery, I have managed recently to return to the pool. Before, I repeatedly pushed myself past my breaking point, never truly listening to my body. Now, as I train for UNT’s intramural swim meet, I respect the limits of my injuries. Without the burden of Olympic aspirations, I appreciate swimming different than before. With every slice of my streamlined hand through the ice–cold water, I am brought back to the grueling practices and arduous meets. However, this time I grateful for the opportunity to be able to find my past self in the water once more rather than taking it for granted.

This applicant and I went back and forth whether they should discuss their swimming injuries in their Essay A Statement of Purpose, dedicate an Essay C special circumstances to that discussion, or frame it as an Essay E “personal issue of importance.” Remember, the prompt allows you to discuss something important to you. An issue of importance doesn’t need to be something “out there” like inequality, climate change, or women’s empowerment.

Like with the first example, this applicant chose to link a discussion of their issue of importance with their long-term goals to practice medicine. It complements well their Essay A that discusses their short- and medium-term goals to study Anthropology at UT.

They walk the reviewer through their promising swimming career and subsequent injury. They don’t dwell on these setbacks and instead frame their injury as overcoming adversity. I appreciate their mature discussion of what swimming means to them today while seeing the big picture.

Utilizing technical discussions of anatomy alongside what these complications mean in laymen’s terms also gives a subtle indication that they’ve explored their medical school goals. Undoubtedly, their reviewer walked away with the impression that they’re a mature and thoughtful student. Their essays helped contribute to their favorable admissions decision.

Mixed-Religion Household and Diversity

My mom’s family is entirely Catholic; my dad’s family is Buddhist. We recognize both Jesus Christ and Buddha, Heaven and rebirth. For the majority of my life, I’ve experienced my personal version of the “Great Schism,” excellent fuel for a near-continual state of existential crisis. On Wednesdays I attend the Mass, reciting endless "Our Father's" and "Hail Mary's" over the liturgy. Each weekend, I indulge in incense while offering tasty gifts to those long-past at the Teochew Temple. Each ceremony introduces a deeper division of my sense of self, my ethics, and where I come from. In Mass, we seek redemption for past sins while Buddhism demands attention to the present and moderating our ever-present cravings and restless minds. Redemption comes from within and there isn’t a focus on an eternal afterlife “out there” while the goal of Christianity is serving in God’s image and earning a place in Heaven. I often feel like I exist in two different worlds, torn between these two families and these two beliefs. Not knowing whether I should exclusively commit myself to one, the other, or neither. Compromise doesn’t seem like an option, but since I cannot commit myself fully to either faith, I don’t feel dedicated to either. Pi Patel in Life of Pi consoles, "To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation." At the intersection of Catholicism and Buddhism, it felt insane attempting to compromise what felt like irreconcilable beliefs. Like Pi, I've discovered that if I bind myself to one option or the other, I feel perpetual doubt and insecurity. I’ve attempted a self-syncretism, a blending of both schools of belief to suit my daily life. It’s helped me be more open to both Buddhism and Catholicism. Practicing two distinctly different religions helps me digest otherwise very uncomfortable ideas more easily. Christianity and Buddhism have many mutually exclusive conflicts where my beliefs may seem openly inconsistent or even hypocritical. What works for me doesn’t necessarily need to work for others. I feel more open to talk with people from different backgrounds who share different beliefs or opinions, and being in Houston exposes me to people like my closest friend, who happens to follow Islam. I’m thankful that I can count some of my closest friends as those who live very differently than me. Now that I’ve finished high school and moved onto college, there is some distance between me and the environment I was raised. I can look back and feel thankful for the many years of confusion borne from receiving conflicting messages from each family. I feel like everyone would be well served by taking a theology or philosophy class or make an effort to travel outside of their communities. Anything that forces you to consider different points of view is beneficial. I believe that if I’m not being challenged then I’m not growing. Having an open mind opens so many doors that makes Learning to coexist and invite diversity into your life are values that I share with UT-Austin. At a university that truly exhibits a desire to integrate, with projects and organizations such as the Multicultural Engagement Center and the OIE, I feel I can truly belong. One thing that appeals to me about UT is that there are students that come from almost every county in Texas, all of the states in the United States, and over half of the countries in the world. I look forward to meeting others who share mixed-identity backgrounds and learning from their experiences. Texas and the rest of the world is becoming increasingly multicultural, and I need to receive an education in an environment that helps prepare me for the challenges of a global community.

This former University of Houston student applying to Economics with a 3.4 GPA for Fall 2018 needed homeruns on their Essay A and E to gain admission.

Like the above examples, instead of discussing an issue of importance unrelated to them or one where they lack personal experience, they chose to use their response to provide additional context to their home life and development.

It is almost always preferable to select an issue of importance that you can relate with directly. The more concrete and personal, the better.

Their discussion of growing up in a mixed-religious household demonstrates effectively how they will bring unique and diverse perspectives to UT classrooms and campus. Incorporating specific “Why UT” statements in an essay is always an advisable strategy.

American Prison System

The American prison system houses more people than Austin, El Paso, and Arlington combined. If the approximately 2.2 million incarcerated people formed their own city, it would be roughly as large as Houston. The United States has the highest prison population in the world, with six times the number of people per 100,000 imprisoned compared with China. Texas claims more prisoners than any other state. Mandatory minimum sentences for minor drug possession and three strikes policies result in a disproportionate number of prisoners serving lengthy sentences for non-violent crimes. Researchers for decades observe discriminatory policing approaches, particularly in urban, low-income areas, result in higher arrest rates and episodes of police brutality relative to wealthier areas. Inherent racial bias in the criminal justice system and lack of adequate legal representation pressures people into pleading guilty for supposedly more lenient sentences accompanied by high bond fees while awaiting sentencing. White collar criminals who commit massive fraud affecting hundreds or thousands of people receive lesser sentences than petty thieves. The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reports that 10% of incarcerated Americans live in federal prisons while the vast majority spend time in state and local prisons and penitentiaries. A recent BJS survey reported that 77% of prisoners re-enter the prison system within five years of their release. With some of the world’s highest recidivism rates, it is clear that the United States justice system requires reform that focuses on rehabilitation rather than retribution while lessening sentences for non-violent first-time offenders. Because most states model their laws and policies according to federal recommendations, meaningful reform occurs federally. Shane Bauer in his recent, award-winning book American Prison shares his experience working as a guard at a private prison in Louisiana. He details its inhumane conditions, inadequate staffing, high levels of violence, and a lack of mental health resources, which are endemic to the American prison system. Prison officials censor works from Martin Luther King and other Civil Rights activists and Abolition leaders. Texas has banned over 15,000 books to prisoners. He discusses the history of slavery and how a huge loophole in the Thirteenth Amendment provides that, “neither slavery nor involuntary servitude” will be legal in the United States “except for punishment of a crime.” Contemporary prisons employ a modern form of legacy slavery disproportionately affecting African-Americans. Southern plantation owners needed cheap or free labor to replace chattel slavery following 1865. Ever since budget-conscious state legislatures contract private companies to exploit prison labor for profit. I’ve witnessed this practice firsthand. My high school is close to a state jail, and sometimes you can see the prisoners in shackles, picking cotton or farming corn. Watching prisoners work first got me interested in this topic, and I’ve felt compelled to explore it ever since. Slowing recidivism rates and breaking cycles of generational poverty require allocating more funding and rehabilitation resources to make American prisons more humane. Prisoners are statistically much more likely to live with mental illness compared to the general population. Bryan Stevenson’s popular Ted Talks and compassionate book Just Mercy calls for providing mental health and social work resources to prisoners as both humane and cost-effective. Everyone deserves equal access to healthcare. Most prisons especially those privately operated don’t employ a full-time therapist despite Department of Justice recommendations for one therapist for every 200 prisoners. Funding vocational and GED programs while allowing prisoners to read books that they choose can provide pathways for success after release. Florida recently passed a referendum granting people with previous felonies the right to vote. Restoring rights like voting that we take for granted are a step in the right direction to acknowledging the human rights for all.  Many European countries prioritize rehabilitation over retribution. Incarceration rates are very low, and few people return to prison following release. For example, the Netherlands's relaxed drug laws, focus on recovery rather than jail time for minor offenders. Ankle monitoring systems allow people to work while ‘serving their sentence.’ Sensible sentencing policies cut crime rates so drastically that they closed 19 prisons in 2017. Social and rehabilitative services cut recidivism rates in half because, instead of treating prisoners like it’s the 19th century, they utilize proven policies to integrate offenders rather than exhaust them as manual labor. Their prison system costs less per prisoner than the United States because they emphasize long-term, sustainable policies rather than short-term exploitation. The social psychologist manager of Norway’s Bastoy prison states, “You don't change people by power. It is important that when they are released, they are less likely to commit more crimes. That is justice for society.” This method of rehabilitation is tried and true, and America should restore humanity to American prisoners to the betterment of all society.

This ended up being one of the most well-written and thoroughly researched Essay E topics that I’ve ever assisted. They do an excellent job on covering a lot of territory in terms of the scope and scale of the injustices and social issues present in America’s incarceration system.

Their order of argument begins with an assessment of the State of Texas, discussing relevant laws that increase sentences for low-level offenders, providing an overview of the US Federal Prison System, pivoting to a discussion of history, and linking the history of slavery with present-day inequality and institutional racism. They also provide constructive solutions for rehabilitation rather than retribution by citing a variety of sources and making comparisons with effective alternatives in European countries.

Referencing and expanding upon Shane Bauer’s seminal work American Prison is also an effective use of how a single source can develop and strengthen your argument. Often, I see students touch on a source without utilizing it fully.

Another interesting angle is that their issue of importance doesn’t relate to themselves, their family, or their proposed first-choice major. It’s simply something that interested them that they investigated because it interested them. Outstanding examples of Essay E are sometimes ones that could turn into an undergraduate or graduate thesis, and this sample offers ample territory for further research and analysis.

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Plastic covers almost all of our world’s beaches, polluting our oceans and land.  Plastic pollution isn’t a problem confined to developing countries; it’s a huge issue in Austin.  Almost all consumer products and services involve plastics including utensils, grocery bags, straws, and cosmetic containers.  Although recent efforts to encourage reusable bags and straws are small steps in the right direction, the problem is more complex.  Plastics that come from petroleum, are present in almost all products, and are a cheap resource.  Forty years ago, Texas started the “Don’t Mess With Texas” movement to reduce litter on our highways that eventually spread nationwide.  Iconic advertising campaigns, ubiquitous roadway signs, and heavy fines have helped to reduce littering substantially.  It’s almost unimaginable nowadays to throw a bottle on I-35.  Local Austin businesses are continuing these shifts in attitude.  Starbucks is switching to 100% recyclable cups.  The city of Austin attempted a plastic bag ban, but the Texas Supreme Court ruled against their efforts.  Snooze and Alamo Draft House use biodegradable straws rather than their single-use plastic counterparts.  Replacing plastic with more environmentally conscious options can help decrease demand for consumer plastics and thus their industrial manufacturing.     Although getting rid of plastics entirely seems like the most practical solution, there are downsides.  Not all Austin-area businesses can afford plastic replacements.  People living on tight budgets may not be able to afford the few dollars for cloth grocery bags.  Biodegradable replacements skyrocket the cost of items like toothpaste and milk.  Consequently, businesses in Austin and suburbs like my hometown Pflugerville have not made the switch.  It’s hard to change local policies, but I choose not to use straws.  I always remember to bring my reusable grocery bags.  I’ve met with the manager of our university dining halls, and they’re making efforts to remove the plastic utensils and switch fully to reusable plates and silverware.  Since speaking with him, the university has started promoting environmentally-friendly napkins.  I see a significant decrease in the use of plastic plates and utensils.  Journalists and communication professionals play a huge role in the plastic debate.  New articles in local, state, and university newspapers come out every day.  Local TV anchors are finding ways to keep citizens up to date on economical ways to reduce their carbon footprint.  Complex climate science requires people who distill and present actionable information to the public.  Journalists compliment the work of engineers, policymakers, scientists, and industry professionals.  The media also serve as a watchdog for corporations that pollute our seas, land, and waterways.  I first learned about the pervasive plastic pollution problem from the Austin-American Stateman. I imagine a “Don’t Mess with Austin” campaign for the 21st century.  Central Texas is already a leader in environmental awareness.  Just as how Texas deterred highway littering, Austin and the University of Texas can be leaders in reducing consumer and corporate plastic consumption.  UT students returning home over their summers or beginning their careers in Dallas, San Antonio, and Houston can bring their habits to other communities.  Like the bluebonnets that line our highways every spring, I hope for a city and state free of sidewalk plastic, clogged gutter, and littered lakes. Recently, some UT seniors founded a branch of Precious Plastic Texas to help involve students in the fight against single-use plastic.  The students are creating machines that melt plastic and transform them into everyday products.  I would love to join their effort, leveraging my storytelling skills to do my part in raising environmental awareness.  If we can reduce the plastic in circulation and increase our recycling efforts, future generations can hopefully live in a healthier Austin.  It’s worth at least acknowledging that our individual actions spread throughout our communities.  Regardless of one’s belief of the source or degree of climate change, it’s our moral obligation to think about the world we are creating today for future children and grandchildren.  Educating my community about the effects of plastic pollution is critical.  What starts with me, changes the world.

Similar to the above sample regarding the American prison system, this issue of importance response on plastics is well-researched and covers territory that focuses almost exclusively on local and state issues. One common error I see students make is making their essays way too broad, especially with global topics like climate change. There is a tendency towards discussing worldwide issues in such a vague way that their argument loses force and focus.

Many students write about climate change, and rightly so. It’s the topic that keeps me awake at night with concerns about the ecological health of our planet and whether humans can continue living here in sustainable ways. Early on in the drafting process, it’s critical to hone in and narrow down your topic. There are literally thousands of climate-related topics that occur in biomes, cities, countries, and environments around the world.

I suggest picking one or two topics and one or two locations, in this case plastics and the City of Austin. Narrowing the scope of your essay can help find specific evidence and sources to support your points and also make recommendations, which this student does very well. It isn’t necessary to identify solutions to problems, but I appreciate how this applicant considers imaginative campaigns to reduce the amount of plastics in circulation.

Another flaw with climate change essays is they are often impersonal or abstract. They talk about problems “out there” in the world without reference to local impacts or how their daily life might be affected. It’s neat that the author went the extra mile to discuss with their university’s dining hall staff ways to be more sustainable and limit waste. Personalizing an issue makes it easier to consider potential downsides to your position and also link it into larger state or national conversations. Finally, they close with a discussion how UT and a relevant student organization can help them continue their advocacy.

Nutrition and Wellness

We rarely ate out as a family, so I knew something was up when they broke the news. My parents shared that my dad had just been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Soon after his diagnosis, the chemo and radiation treatments began. I was nine. The surgery was definitely the hardest part. He lost almost twenty pounds, making his recovery even harder. We never eat out anymore because my dad doesn’t have much of a colon and requires a specialized diet. He doesn’t eat at family gatherings. It saddened me that he felt left out. We missed a family reunion vacation in Spain hosted by my grandpa because my dad wasn’t well enough to join. I learned only recently that his surgery was high-risk. It’s a miracle that he survived. Despite his trials, he prevailed. Before his diagnosis, he was training for a marathon but had to put it on hold. He’s been in remission for almost ten years, and I’m happy to say he completed his first marathon in February.  We initially feared that this kind of cancer runs in our family. About a year after my dad’s diagnosis and surgery, my paternal grandmother received the same cancer diagnosis. Due to my grandma’s age, her case was a little more serious. She fought it off for a time, but it only took about a year and a half for it to come back. This time, it spread even faster. Sadly, despite all the medical trials and surgeries, cancer got to her liver and killed her four years after she was diagnosed. My dad felt her pain particularly since he knew exactly what she was going through. He received genetic testing, and it turns out to be a cruel coincidence that they experienced the exact same cancer. Even though I was just a child when my dad was diagnosed, I still remember our family's summer of chemo, radiation, surgery, and pain. My mom tried so hard to remain strong, but I knew deep inside how afraid she was to lose my dad and raise two kids as a single mother.  As a little girl, I thought my mom knew exactly what to do, but I understand now she was just as lost and confused as us if maybe for different reasons. After my dad’s and especially following my grandma’s diagnoses, my mom completely changed all of our eating habits. You know how every segment on the local news involves some food that may or may not cause cancer? My mom took them all seriously. If the cancer wasn’t genetic, she reasoned, it must be environmental or due to our diet. Understandably so, she didn’t want me or my brother to receive an early cancer diagnosis. I hated giving up my Doritos, but I grew accustomed to eating spinach and leafy greens in substitute for grains and processed foods. Not only did I start to like eating healthier, I realized I couldn’t eat any other way. My extended family, especially my dad’s side, tends to stick to the cheapest, most processed foods. They never shy away from white bread, box macaroni, frozen dinners, and sodas. I’m thankful mom reformed our food pantry and eating habits. Sure, it’s possible that I could get cancer, but I sleep and feel better than ever before. If I limit my cancer risk, that’s an additional benefit. I’ve cut out processed, high-sugar foods. Eating at home helps me eat nutritiously and also saves money. I’ve substituted white flour with protein-rich alternatives and use ground cauliflower for pizza crust. Food may be an important part of one’s overall nutrition, but maintaining an active lifestyle also matters.  I played team sports for most of my life. I’m not a big fan of running, but my dad is an amazing distance runner. Running together with my dad, who often says he feels lucky to be alive, pushes me to go the extra mile. We run local races, most recently the CASA 5K. I can’t keep up with him yet, but I look forward to running our first half and full marathons together. Nutrition and healthy living bring balance to my body and mind. I don’t live in fear of contracting a disease or cancer. I focus on what I can control and prepare myself for whatever life throws at me. I look forward to earning my Nutrition degree so I can share my story and guide others on their personal health journey.

The prompt offers applicants the opportunity to discuss an issue of personal or family importance, and this essay hits that target squarely. Limiting the scope to their family’s habits and lifestyle changes offers the admissions reviewer the chance to learn more about the applicant. They’re majoring in Nutrition, so this is also an effective example of how Essay E can complement and serve as an extension to the Essay A statement of purpose.

One thing I like about this topic is their discussion of specific foods that they limited or substituted with healthier options. It might be tempting to lament “society’s poor eating habits” without reference to your own individual consumption. It’s a similar flaw to social media or technology essays where the author talks impersonally about the perils of Facebook or Snapchat without discussing their own relationship and use of social media.

They’ve done an excellent job discussing their dad’s battle with cancer and how nutrition and wellness is a significant issue to them. The reader knows exactly why they’re writing this essay, so there isn’t any confusion about the applicant’s intent. It’s also a very relatable essay - who among us doesn’t think about or occasionally worry about our weight, food consumption, body image, and so on?