] If you ask yourself what you spend your time on that's bullshit, you probably already know the answer. Unnecessary meetings, pointless disputes, bureaucracy, posturing, dealing with other people's mistakes, traffic jams, addictive but unrewarding pastimes. There are two ways this kind of thing gets into your life: it's either forced on you, or it tricks you. To some extent you have to put up with the bullshit forced on you by circumstances. You need to make money, and making money consists mostly of errands. Indeed, the law of supply and demand ensures that: the more rewarding some kind of work is, the cheaper people will do it. It may be that less bullshit is forced on you than you think, though. There has always been a stream of people who opt out of the default grind and go live somewhere where opportunities are fewer in the conventional sense, but life feels more authentic. This could become more common. You can do it on a smaller scale without moving. The amount of time you have to spend on bullshit varies between employers. Most large organizations (and many small ones) are steeped in it. But if you consciously prioritize bullshit avoidance over other factors like money and prestige, you can probably find employers that will waste less of your time. If you're a freelancer or a small company, you can do this at the level of individual customers. If you fire or avoid toxic customers, you can decrease the amount of bullshit in your life by more than you decrease your income. But while some amount of bullshit is inevitably forced on you, the bullshit that sneaks into your life by tricking you is no one's fault but your own. And yet the bullshit you choose may be harder to eliminate than the bullshit that's forced on you. Things that lure you into wasting your time have to be really good at tricking you. An example that will be familiar to a lot of people is arguing online. When someone contradicts you, they're in a sense attacking you. Sometimes pretty overtly. Your instinct when attacked is to defend yourself. But like a lot of instincts, this one wasn't designed for the world we now live in. Counterintuitive as it feels, it's better most of the time not to defend yourself. Otherwise these people are literally taking your life. ] Arguing online is only incidentally addictive. There are more dangerous things than that. As I've written before, one byproduct of technical progress is that things we like tend to become . Which means we will increasingly have to make a conscious effort to avoid addictions � to stand outside ourselves and ask "is this how I want to be spending my time?" As well as avoiding bullshit, one should actively seek out things that matter. But different things matter to different people, and most have to learn what matters to them. A few are lucky and realize early on that they love math or taking care of animals or writing, and then figure out a way to spend a lot of time doing it. But most people start out with a life that's a mix of things that matter and things that don't, and only gradually learn to distinguish between them. For the young especially, much of this confusion is induced by the artificial situations they find themselves in. In middle school and high school, what the other kids think of you seems the most important thing in the world. But when you ask adults what they got wrong at that age, nearly all say they cared too much what other kids thought of them. One heuristic for distinguishing stuff that matters is to ask yourself whether you'll care about it in the future. Fake stuff that matters usually has a sharp peak of seeming to matter. That's how it tricks you. The area under the curve is small, but its shape jabs into your consciousness like a pin. The things that matter aren't necessarily the ones people would call "important." Having coffee with a friend matters. You won't feel later like that was a waste of time. One great thing about having small children is that they make you spend time on things that matter: them. They grab your sleeve as you're staring at your phone and say "will you play with me?" And odds are that is in fact the bullshit-minimizing option. If life is short, we should expect its shortness to take us by surprise. And that is just what tends to happen. You take things for granted, and then they're gone. You think you can always write that book, or climb that mountain, or whatever, and then you realize the window has closed. The saddest windows close when other people die. Their lives are short too. After my mother died, I wished I'd spent more time with her. I lived as if she'd always be there. And in her typical quiet way she encouraged that illusion. But an illusion it was. I think a lot of people make the same mistake I did. The usual way to avoid being taken by surprise by something is to be consciously aware of it. Back when life was more precarious, people used to be aware of death to a degree that would now seem a bit morbid. I'm not sure why, but it doesn't seem the right answer to be constantly reminding oneself of the grim reaper hovering at everyone's shoulder. Perhaps a better solution is to look at the problem from the other end. Cultivate a habit of impatience about the things you most want to do. Don't wait before climbing that mountain or writing that book or visiting your mother. You don't need to be constantly reminding yourself why you shouldn't wait. Just don't wait. I can think of two more things one does when one doesn't have much of something: try to get more of it, and savor what one has. Both make sense here. How you live affects how long you live. Most people could do better. Me among them. But you can probably get even more effect by paying closer attention to the time you have. It's easy to let the days rush by. The "flow" that imaginative people love so much has a darker cousin that prevents you from pausing to savor life amid the daily slurry of errands and alarms. One of the most striking things I've read was not in a book, but the title of one: James Salter's . It is possible to slow time somewhat. I've gotten better at it. Kids help. When you have small children, there are a lot of moments so perfect that you can't help noticing. It does help too to feel that you've squeezed everything out of some experience. The reason I'm sad about my mother is not just that I miss her but that I think of all the things we could have done that we didn't. My oldest son will be 7 soon. And while I miss the 3 year old version of him, I at least don't have any regrets over what might have been. We had the best time a daddy and a 3 year old ever had. Relentlessly prune bullshit, don't wait to do things that matter, and savor the time you have. That's what you do when life is short. [ ] At first I didn't like it that the word that came to mind was one that had other meanings. But then I realized the other meanings are fairly closely related. Bullshit in the sense of things you waste your time on is a lot like intellectual bullshit. [ ] I chose this example deliberately as a note to self. I get attacked a lot online. People tell the craziest lies about me. And I have so far done a pretty mediocre job of suppressing the natural human inclination to say "Hey, that's not true!" to Jessica Livingston and Geoff Ralston for reading drafts of this. |
By maria popova.
“How we spend our days,” Annie Dillard memorably wrote in her soul-stretching meditation on the life of presence , “is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And yet most of us spend our days in what Kierkegaard believed to be our greatest source of unhappiness — a refusal to recognize that “busy is a decision” and that presence is infinitely more rewarding than productivity . I frequently worry that being productive is the surest way to lull ourselves into a trance of passivity and busyness the greatest distraction from living, as we coast through our lives day after day, showing up for our obligations but being absent from our selves, mistaking the doing for the being.
Despite a steadily swelling human life expectancy, these concerns seem more urgent than ever — and yet they are hardly unique to our age. In fact, they go as far back as the record of human experience and endeavor. It is unsurprising, then, that the best treatment of the subject is also among the oldest: Roman philosopher Seneca’s spectacular 2,000-year-old treatise On the Shortness of Life ( public library ) — a poignant reminder of what we so deeply intuit yet so easily forget and so chronically fail to put into practice.
Seneca writes:
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.
Millennia before the now-tired adage that “time is money,” Seneca cautions that we fail to treat time as a valuable resource, even though it is arguably our most precious and least renewable one:
People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.
To those who so squander their time, he offers an unambiguous admonition:
You are living as if destined to live for ever; your own frailty never occurs to you; you don’t notice how much time has already passed, but squander it as though you had a full and overflowing supply — though all the while that very day which you are devoting to somebody or something may be your last. You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire… How late it is to begin really to live just when life must end! How stupid to forget our mortality, and put off sensible plans to our fiftieth and sixtieth years, aiming to begin life from a point at which few have arrived!
Nineteen centuries later, Bertrand Russell, another of humanity’s greatest minds, lamented rhetorically, “What will be the good of the conquest of leisure and health, if no one remembers how to use them?” But even Seneca, writing in the first century, saw busyness — that dual demon of distraction and preoccupation — as an addiction that stands in the way of mastering the art of living:
No activity can be successfully pursued by an individual who is preoccupied … since the mind when distracted absorbs nothing deeply, but rejects everything which is, so to speak, crammed into it. Living is the least important activity of the preoccupied man; yet there is nothing which is harder to learn… Learning how to live takes a whole life, and, which may surprise you more, it takes a whole life to learn how to die.
In our habitual compulsion to ensure that the next moment contains what this one lacks, Seneca suggests, we manage to become, as another wise man put it , “accomplished fugitives from ourselves.” Seneca writes:
Everyone hustles his life along, and is troubled by a longing for the future and weariness of the present. But the man who … organizes every day as though it were his last, neither longs for nor fears the next day… Nothing can be taken from this life, and you can only add to it as if giving to a man who is already full and satisfied food which he does not want but can hold. So you must not think a man has lived long because he has white hair and wrinkles: he has not lived long, just existed long. For suppose you should think that a man had had a long voyage who had been caught in a raging storm as he left harbor, and carried hither and thither and driven round and round in a circle by the rage of opposing winds? He did not have a long voyage, just a long tossing about.
Seneca is particularly skeptical of the double-edged sword of achievement and ambition — something David Foster Wallace would later eloquently censure — which causes us to steep in our cesspool of insecurity, dissatisfaction, and clinging:
It is inevitable that life will be not just very short but very miserable for those who acquire by great toil what they must keep by greater toil. They achieve what they want laboriously; they possess what they have achieved anxiously; and meanwhile they take no account of time that will never more return. New preoccupations take the place of the old, hope excites more hope and ambition more ambition. They do not look for an end to their misery, but simply change the reason for it.
This, Seneca cautions, is tenfold more toxic for the soul when one is working for the man, as it were, and toiling away toward goals laid out by another:
Indeed the state of all who are preoccupied is wretched, but the most wretched are those who are toiling not even at their own preoccupations, but must regulate their sleep by another’s, and their walk by another’s pace, and obey orders in those freest of all things, loving and hating. If such people want to know how short their lives are, let them reflect how small a portion is their own.
In one particularly prescient aside, Seneca makes a remark that crystallizes what is really at stake when a person asks, not to mention demands, another’s time — an admonition that applies with poignant precision to the modern malady of incessant meeting requests and the rather violating barrage of People Wanting Things:
All those who call you to themselves draw you away from yourself. […] I am always surprised to see some people demanding the time of others and meeting a most obliging response. Both sides have in view the reason for which the time is asked and neither regards the time itself — as if nothing there is being asked for and nothing given. They are trifling with life’s most precious commodity, being deceived because it is an intangible thing, not open to inspection and therefore reckoned very cheap — in fact, almost without any value.
He suggests that protecting our time is essential self-care, and the opposite a dangerous form of self-neglect:
Nobody works out the value of time: men use it lavishly as if it cost nothing… We have to be more careful in preserving what will cease at an unknown point.
He captures what a perilous form of self-hypnosis our trance of busyness is:
No one will bring back the years; no one will restore you to yourself. Life will follow the path it began to take, and will neither reverse nor check its course. It will cause no commotion to remind you of its swiftness, but glide on quietly. It will not lengthen itself for a king’s command or a people’s favor. As it started out on its first day, so it will run on, nowhere pausing or turning aside. What will be the outcome? You have been preoccupied while life hastens on. Meanwhile death will arrive, and you have no choice in making yourself available for that.
But even “more idiotic,” to use his unambiguous language, than keeping ourselves busy is indulging the vice of procrastination — not the productivity-related kind , but the existential kind, that limiting longing for certainty and guarantees , which causes us to obsessively plan and chronically put off pursuing our greatest aspirations and living our greatest truths on the pretext that the future will somehow provide a more favorable backdrop:
Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.
Seneca reframes this with an apt metaphor:
You must match time’s swiftness with your speed in using it, and you must drink quickly as though from a rapid stream that will not always flow… Just as travelers are beguiled by conversation or reading or some profound meditation, and find they have arrived at their destination before they knew they were approaching it; so it is with this unceasing and extremely fast-moving journey of life, which waking or sleeping we make at the same pace — the preoccupied become aware of it only when it is over.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his own occupation, Seneca points to the study of philosophy as the only worthwhile occupation of the mind and spirit — an invaluable teacher that helps us learn how to inhabit our own selves fully in this “brief and transient spell” of existence and expands our short lives sideways, so that we may live wide rather than long. He writes:
Of all people only those are at leisure who make time for philosophy, only those are really alive. For they not only keep a good watch over their own lifetimes, but they annex every age to theirs. All the years that have passed before them are added to their own. Unless we are very ungrateful, all those distinguished founders of holy creeds were born for us and prepared for us a way of life. By the toil of others we are led into the presence of things which have been brought from darkness into light. […] From them you can take whatever you wish: it will not be their fault if you do not take your fill from them. What happiness, what a fine old age awaits the man who has made himself a client of these! He will have friends whose advice he can ask on the most important or the most trivial matters, whom he can consult daily about himself, who will tell him the truth without insulting him and praise him without flattery, who will offer him a pattern on which to model himself.
Perhaps most poignantly, however, Seneca suggests that philosophy offers a kind of spiritual reparenting to those of us who didn’t win the lottery of existence and didn’t benefit from the kind of nurturing, sound, fully present parenting that is so essential to the cultivation of inner wholeness:
We are in the habit of saying that it was not in our power to choose the parents who were allotted to us, that they were given to us by chance. But we can choose whose children we would like to be. There are households of the noblest intellects: choose the one into which you wish to be adopted, and you will inherit not only their name but their property too. Nor will this property need to be guarded meanly or grudgingly: the more it is shared out, the greater it will become. These will offer you a path to immortality and raise you to a point from which no one is cast down. This is the only way to prolong mortality — even to convert it to immortality.
On the Shortness of Life is a sublime read in its pithy totality. Complement it with some Montaigne’s timeless lessons on the art of living and Alan Watts on how to live with presence .
Thanks, Liz
— Published September 1, 2014 — https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/09/01/seneca-on-the-shortness-of-life/ —
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In his moral essay, On the Shortness of Life , Seneca, the Stoic philosopher and playwright, offers us an urgent reminder on the non-renewability of our most important resource: our time. It is a required reading for anyone who wishes to live to their full potential, and it is a manifesto on how to get back control of your life and live it to the fullest.
In fact, perhaps Seneca’s most famous quote comes from this essay:
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.
Seneca urges us to examine the problems that result in life seeming to pass by too quickly, such as ambition, giving all our time to others, and engaging in vice. He argues that we have truly lived only a short time because our lives were filled with business and stress. How do we regain our time back? It is by studying philosophy, working towards meaningful goals, and not putting off the enjoyment of life.
Before we continue with the essay’s key lessons, a bit of background: De Brevitate Vitae, as it is known in Latin, is in fact addressed to Paulinus. This is most likely Pompeius Paulinus, a knight of Arelate and historians date it around 49 AD. What we find in reading the essay is that Paulinus was praefectus annonae, or the official who superintended the grain supply of Rome. We see this when Seneca is imploring Paulinus to transition from taking stock of the grain supply to taking stock of his life.
And if you’re new to Stoic philosophy , here is a bit of background on Seneca (although you are welcome to read our longer profile ): Seneca was one of the three most important Stoic philosophers, along with Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus . He is also infamous for serving as an advisor to Nero, one of the most cruel emperors. He is best known for this essay but also for his Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium, better known as Moral Letters to Lucilius , which we also highly recommend .
Below you will find key lessons from the essay, great quotes as well as our suggested translation to get. Just like Meditations by Marcus Aurelius , another imminently readable Stoic text, it will mark you forever if you let it.
“In guarding their fortune men are often closefisted, yet, when it comes to the matter of wasting time, in the case of the one thing in which it is right to be miserly, they show themselves most extravagant.”
Does it make any sense to value anything above your only life? Seneca certainly doesn’t think so. Yet we find ourselves trading our only life away to make others like us, to get money (which we cannot use in the grave), and be lazy, distracted and entertained.
The main reason that we do so, Seneca argues, we waste so much of our time is because we forget that it is limited, that we are going to die .
Seneca scolds,
“You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.”
Wasting time is the worst thing we can do to ourselves, but of course, there are many things and people that would take away our precious time. When Seneca says to be “miserly” with your time, he means it.
He implores us to be suspicious of any activity that will take a lot of time and be prepared to defend ourselves against unworthy pursuits.
It is with a similar reminder that Stoic Emperor Marcus Aurelius would urge himself in his Meditations , realizing the limited amount of time we have: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” For that very reason we have created our memento mori (“remember that you will die”) medallion , a physical reminder to carry that sense of urgency in one’s pocket and not waste a second.
Seneca uses the example of highly successful Romans to demonstrate that great achievement comes at a high price: a life that rushes by, filled with obligations and empty of leisure. Seneca mentions that Augustus Caesar, considered one of the greatest Romans of all time, constantly wished aloud for a break from his many duties and desperately longed to live a leisurely life.
Seneca explains:
“This was the sweet, even if vain, consolation with which he would gladden his labors—that he would one day live for himself.”
Augustus spent his life in directing conquests, but ultimately did not even have control of his own life, because he was not free to use his time how he wanted. Seneca wanted to demonstrate that the greatness men strive for can be a horrible trap, an overwhelming river of responsibilities that washes away the only life we get. Seneca is making a powerful claim—it would be better to live as you choose than to rule the world.
The great Roman politician, speaker, and writer, Marcus Cicero, considered himself a prisoner in his large and luxurious home, simply because of his many obligations. He complained about the life he had, a life that many others surely envied, and one that certainly had potential to be enjoyable. Seneca is critical of Cicero’s complaint of being a prisoner, claiming that no Stoic could ever be a prisoner since he possesses himself in any circumstance, being above despairing about one’s fate. This is a brief return to the prescription of philosophy, especially Stoic philosophy, for the problem of a life that can seem to rush by uncontrollably while we scramble to do our work and please others.
Seneca believes it is important to make room for leisure in life, but a life of pure leisure is considered meaningless. He speaks of people who never have to lift a finger and have unlearned basic human functions as a status symbol, something that still occurs in our time. He says of such a man, “He is sick, nay, he is dead.” Purposeful living is required to truly live, as long as it is a purpose that one owns and controls.
Seneca is also critical of another type of excessive luxury, that concerned with making a show of everything and being fancy. He calls people who pursue this “idly preoccupied” and thusly wasting their only lives on vain pursuits. He condemns those concerned about the appearance of their hair, which could be extended to anyone who fusses over their looks, and claims they are not truly at leisure. By focusing on how we look, we are wasting our most precious resource of all, time.
There are endless other distractions this lesson can be applied to, especially in modern times, where we invest a lot of life force in our presence on social media. An interesting way to conceptualize this is to think of the screen sucking your soul away while you browse Twitter and Facebook, or while you watch TV. Since our time is our only life, this is not an exaggeration.
Seneca is essentially prompting us to question our lives and ask: What proof do I have that I’m really alive? Many of us are living what might as well be considered a life of mere existence: lazing around and wasting our potential. But Seneca defines actual living as being in control of yourself and either enjoying yourself meaningfully and working towards goals that are important to you. He compares how most of us seem to live to a boat that has never left the harbor:
“For what if you should think that that man had had a long voyage who had been caught by a fierce storm as soon as he left harbor, and, swept hither and thither by a succession of winds that raged from different quarters, had been driven in a circle around the same course? Not much voyaging did he have, but much tossing about.”
The most important lesson of On the Shortness of Life of course is that we need to value our time and avoid wasting it at all costs. Sure, we understand this intellectually but how many of us can actually say they truly live? As Maria Popova from Brain Pickings would observe , the essay is “a poignant reminder of what we so deeply intuit yet so easily forget and so chronically fail to put into practice.”
There is no shortage of things that take away our time and we must guard against them. To live this lesson, practice saying “No!” to many of the time-wasting things that you do, like trying to impress people or staring at a screen. Consider whether your potential actions are virtuous, will truly benefit you, and whether they are worthy of making up your only life. If not, commit to turning it down, even if it might cause others to be displeased with you.
The lessons from On the Shortness of Life urge us to take stock of how we have lived so far, and to count the time that has been truly lived, as opposed to filled with unworthy busyness and distractions.
What you can start doing today is to practice the Stoic art of journaling and start reflecting on how you spend each and every day. To borrow from Seneca, his favorite time to journal was in the evenings. When darkness had fallen and his wife had gone asleep, he explained to a friend, “I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” Then he would go to bed, finding that “the sleep which follows this self-examination” was particularly sweet.
The final lesson we should take away from Seneca’s work, and a theme that is constant for the Stoics in general , is that we need to remember that we could die at any moment, and that barring some massive medical breakthrough, we have at most a few more decades left to live. We should find a way to remind ourselves every day that we are going to die, perhaps by placing Sticky notes in places we will see every day. You might feel like you don’t forget that you’re going to die, but do you think about on a regular basis? Does it inform your decision-making? Most people can’t say yes to that, so we must do a little work to make sure we can.
“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.”
“You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire”
“They lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.”
“There is nothing the busy man is less busied with than living.”
“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today… The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.”
‘“People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.”
“Even though you seize the day, it still will flee; therefore, you must vie with time’s swiftness in the speed of using it, and, as from a torrent that rushes by and will not always flow, you must drink quickly.”
“Of all men they alone are at leisure who take time for philosophy, they alone really live; for they are not content to be good guardians of their own lifetime only. They annex every age to their own; all the years that have gone before them are an addition to their store.”
“It is not that we have a short space of time, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested.”
“The part of life we really live is small. For all the rest of existence is not life, but merely time.”
Cicero said that he was “half a prisoner.” But, in very truth, never will the wise man resort to so lowly a term, never will he be half a prisoner—he who always possesses an undiminished and stable liberty, being free and his own master and towering over all others. For what can possibly be above him who is above Fortune?”
We recommend Penguin’s On the Shortness of Life edition translated by C.D.N Costa which includes two other great short pieces of writing from Seneca. It is a beautifully designed edition and fits perfectly in your back pocket. You can also read the essay for free online here , a translation by John W. Basore.
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Everybody says “life is short, make the most of it,” yet, strangely, this fact of life is not accepted by almost anyone. ( Tweet this )
Indeed, there are things that a man experiences in life and the most important fact is we have to live with it, despite the fact that they may be pleasant or unpleasant.
Life gives us things that we want, but with it we also have to accept things which we do not want like pain, sorrow, disappointment and regret. The ultimate truth is what you choose. Do you feel happy when you get what you want or do you emphasize on things that have gone wrong?
The answer is up to every person and their temperament—that is the determining factor. Dealing with the ups and downs of life is important in life. Everybody has to face things that are unpleasant, sometimes harsh and most of the time it is the difficulties we face in life which ultimately become familiar to us.
Yes, everyone is not capable of handling things in a positive way, which leads to acts that may pose another issue in front of us.
Brace yourself and learn the truth of life and the purpose behind it all. To begin with, what a common man believes is that fate has brought luck to him. But if it doesn’t, then again fate is responsible. Remember, we do not always get what we wish for. So you have to face the truth. The very little that you get, if you are not satisfied about it, shows that you will always yearn for more. This happens in all aspects of life like love, job, career, marriage, salary, material possessions etc.
We often overlook things that we have and do not cherish. It is possible that such an attitude can make you disregard things which are there for you. Many people have friends who are ready to help and share all your joys and sorrows. There are people who will let you down and people who do not care about you. This is when you can have a reality check. When you are in trouble you will know who your true friends are.
Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
Normally people never love those who are climbing the success ladder. There will always be jealousy, anger, hatred etc that will not make you happy. Never expect everyone to love you, because there are people who you do not love as well. Accept the reality and you will be fine. Many of us experience these feelings, knowing well that this is not going to lead us anywhere.
Who has not heard ‘failure?’ Everyone has to go through it. There is no one in life who has not failed (I’m not talking about exams). There is failure in business, in love, and friendship, and many more things. Accept them . . . use them to motivate you and turn around things for you. It is not the end.
Failure will only lead to success. Remember till you succeed it will only be failure. Take it up as a challenge or a learning path that is teaching you to succeed. Nobody is a super being and those who do not try, never taste success.
Failure is waiting to devour you at your first sign of weakness. It will knock you down and make you weak again. Remember, this is just a phase and this is not the end. Opportunities are far more which need only you to check them out.
There is more to life than deceit, disappointment, hate, misery and pain. Take life as it comes, embrace the good as well as bad things and see how happy it makes you.
Ultimately it is happiness that makes you complete and satisfied in whichever situation you are and in whatever little you have. Life is short, you have to live each moment like it’s your last. Try to find peace within . . . find something that you are grateful for. Be around people who think positively and shun away negative thoughts. Try to find the positive in everyone and everything . . . yeah it’s hard but if you get into the habit of doing it . . . it will become very easy.
Live every day as if it were going to be your last; for one day you’re sure to be right. ~ Harry Morant. ( Tweet this )
Life is short. Make the most of it . Laugh more. Spend time with loved ones. Life is what you make of it, and make the most that you can of it. Life is shorter than everyone thinks, and before you know it, it will be over, so enjoy it while you are still here!
Life is short. So, do not hold grudges. Life is too short to not live life to the fullest. S0, Live Life, Love Life and make the most of it.
Vandana singhal.
Vandana Singhal writes extensively on science, technology, health, and travel. Vandana has a degree in science and is artistic in nature.
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Life is short. Why not spend it mired in regret? Why not spend your evenings sitting side by side at the dining-room table with your spouse, trying to determine whether your downstairs neighbors’ ceiling fan is making the floor tremble?
Our existence on this planet is statistically insignificant when compared with the history of the universe. So take advantage of it! Charge your spouse six dollars and fifty cents on Venmo for “supplemental groceries.”
You get to choose the life you live. And, every minute, you have the opportunity to make a different choice. Every minute, you could say, “Today, I will eat defrosted turnip soup and think about the time I felt left out at my friend’s wedding.”
What you really want to do right now is call an office-supply store’s customer-service number. So why not do that? What’s holding you back? Who would you be if you stopped limiting yourself and really let yourself experience the hold music, interrupted every twenty-three seconds with “All representatives are currently assisting other callers”?
The next time you find yourself adding up items in your “worst-case scenario” budget, close your eyes and really feel your fingers on the laptop keyboard with its “N” partly worn off. Sense the gentle thrum of panic in your chest, and hear the patter of the drill in the street beyond. Open your eyes and subtract another thousand. Why? Because you, my friend, deserve it.
True, you could dedicate your time on earth to your relationships and the work and hobbies that give you a sense of purpose. Or you could dedicate your time to washing used ziplock bags and turning them inside out on drying racks to dry.
Someone’s got to read every single tweet written by peers who have achieved success in industries that you were never interested in, so why not you ? Give yourself permission to take screenshots of other people’s life joy and text the images to acquaintances with the caption “LOL.”
There are only twenty-four hours in a day, so why not say “Fuck it” and fully embrace all the sublimity of your scarcity mind-set? Why not return seventy per cent of what you buy out of fear that you’ll never be able to retire? You do you! You walk into that retailer and request a refund outside of the return window like the transcendent being you truly are!
You are a gorgeous human with unlimited potential to eat week-old hard-boiled eggs, and the only person who’s holding you back from checking eighteen times to see if the stove is off is you .
Every moment that you’re not sitting double-parked in your Honda Civic, protecting your spot during street cleaning, is a moment wasted. Every moment that you’re bounding through autumn leaves with your rescue puppy is a moment that you could be writing a negative review of a printer you broke. Every moment that you’re meditating is a moment that you could be thinking of comebacks to the student who called your class “lower level.” This very afternoon, you could stroll down the street as you talk to your friend on the phone, listening to each of his words, or you could put yourself on mute and clean the toilet.
Your heart’s truest desire is to refuse to rejoin the family thread because you can’t handle your grandmother anymore. Of course, there’s the voice in your head telling you that you “should” forgive her for suggesting that you brush your hair more often. But forget “should”s! Focus on reading marketing e-mails instead, out of a sense of guilt! Because you have a unique and beautiful simmering rage inside you, and no one else can harbor it for you.
And, if you do enjoy your time working in public defense, or knitting, or cooking recipes from around the world, or reading out loud to your spouse, well . . . honestly, that seems like something you should examine.
And, whenever you decide that you want to live your life in all its exquisite smallness, we’ll be here for you with our arms firmly at our sides. ♦
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Mentor texts
An invitation to students to tell a meaningful story in a limited number of words, with an example from The Times’s Lives column to help.
By Katherine Schulten
Our new Mentor Text series spotlights writing from The Times that students can learn from and emulate.
This entry, like several others we are publishing, focuses on an essay from The Times’s long-running Lives column to consider skills prized in narrative writing. We are starting with this genre to help support students participating in our 2020 Personal Narrative Essay Contest .
Our Personal Narrative Essay Contest is inspired by The New York Times’s Lives column, which ran from 1996 to 2017 and featured “short, powerful stories about meaningful life experiences .”
The editor of the column once posted some advice on “How to Write a Lives Essay” to guide those who submitted to the column annually. Much of that advice applies to our contest as well.
For example, several points boil down to reminders to keep it simple, including tips like:
Don’t try to fit your whole life into one “Lives.”
Don’t try to tell the whole story.
Tell a small story — an evocative, particular moment.
Better to start from something very simple that you think is interesting (an incident, a person) and expand upon it, rather than a large idea that you then have to fit into a short essay. For example, start with “the day the Santa Claus in the mall asked me on a date” rather than “the state of affairs that is dating in an older age bracket.”
This advice is similar to advice often given to high school seniors writing college essays : You have only 650 words to show admissions officers something important, interesting or memorable about who you are and what matters to you. A list of awards you’ve won won’t do it, but an engaging story about making brownies with your stepbrother just might.
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Becoming Minimalist
Own less. Live more.
Written by joshua becker · 38 Comments
Seneca once wrote:
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.
This is a profound statement and I would encourage you to read it again. The more I read it, the more I am inspired by it.
These phrases stick out the most to me:
“It is not that we have a short time to live… but that we waste a lot of it…”
“Life is long enough for the highest achievements if it were all well invested…”
“It is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity…”
“We are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it…”
I should, perhaps, end this article right now—with Seneca’s own words—rather than thinking I can improve upon them.
But maybe, for just a few short sentences, I will comment.
You (the person reading these words right now) were designed to achieve great things! You are unique in your being, your substance, your abilities, and your relationships. And there is no one else on the face of the earth who can live your life and accomplish your good.
Please, do not forget that.
There is no doubt that “success” and “achievement” are relative words and your highest achievement is different from someone else’s highest achievement. You may never lead thousands or cure cancer. But make no mistake:
There is a good that you are designed to bring into this world. And there are people in your life that you can serve and love better than anyone else.
Your highest achievement will be different than mine, but we both have one. And “life is long enough for us to achieve it.”
Unless, as Seneca wrote, “Our lives are wasted in needless luxury and spent on no good activity.”
It is up to us to decide, every day, to focus our energies on those things worthy of the one life we have been given.
Discard the inessential. Remove the distractions. Reject worthless activity.
Your life is too short… to waste accumulating material possessions .
Your life is too short… to be offended all the time.
Your life is too short… to chase accolades .
Your life is too short… to compare it to others .
Your life is too short… to waste watching 6 hours of television/day .
Your life is too short… to pursue riches .
Your life is too short… to not believe in yourself.
Your life is too short… to not forgive .
Your life is too short… to not speak your mind .
Your life is too short… to worry about the future.
Your life is too short… to regret the past .
Your life is too short… to live in fear.
Your life is too short… to be unhappy .
Your life is too short… to waste time on the trivial .
Your life is too short… to live like everyone else.
Your life is too short… to not be true to yourself.
And life is too short to wait.
October 26, 2022 at 7:23 PM
Great inspirational article❤️
September 2, 2020 at 9:02 AM
This is SO, so true, Joshua. It brought me to tears on this eve of my 54th birthday. I wonder, how did I get here so fast? Where have the years gone? I can honestly say that I have done my best to live each day to the full and for some reason, I have always had a very keen realization how short life is and how quickly it goes by. But, even as I have tried to cherish each moment and cling to it for all it’s worth, those moments have slipped through my fingers like grains of sand. May the Lord help me to keep these truths ever before me and make the most of the time I have left on this earth. I want to please Him and do all I can for Him and for my precious family and loved ones while I am passing through on my way to that eternal home with Him.
March 24, 2021 at 10:23 PM
I know exactly how you feel , and as I read your reply , it brought me to tears and I just want to give you a big hug , because I’m in the same place and at least I’m not alone . God bless you and keep trekking
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Life is too short, embrace it and truly live, no one is guaranteed tomorrow..
Everyone on this earth is all living on borrowed time. We never know when our last days are going to be, and that is why we all need to start living like there is no tomorrow. We need to start going out and doing things that scare us, doing things that we enjoy, doing something new, doing anything, really, because life is way too short for "what ifs."
I have had a lot of people I know die unexpectedly. Some of them had plans for the future, like going to go to a country music concert, or they had plans to celebrate a big anniversary with their spouse, or they were going to see you walk at your graduation.
Seeing people I know die, and hearing about all of these unexpected deaths of celebrities really makes you think about your own life. It really makes you realize that you can go at any time, so you got to get out there and live.
I have a bucket list of things that I want to do. In no particular order, I want to travel to another country, I want to learn a new language, I want to reconnect with old friends, I want to start a family with my loving fiancee, Peter, who will soon be my husband, I want an amazing wedding, and I want to try a new hobby. I want to basically try anything new.
We should all go out there and try new things, and try to break out of our routine. Take a different way to school or work or wherever you go. Order a different drink from Starbucks or wherever you get your cup of joe. Instead of texting someone, call them. Spend a day away from social media and enjoy nature.
Life is way too short to wait for something to happen. You should never wait for the world to be ready, instead, the world should be ready for you.
Our clocks are ticking, so we need to get out there and live like there is no tomorrow, like today was your last day on earth, so make sure you always make the moments in your life count when they matter the most.
25 beatles lyrics: your go-to guide for every situation, the best lines from the fab four.
For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.
The End- Abbey Road, 1969
Dear Prudence- The White Album, 1968
Because- Abbey Road, 1969
All You Need Is Love, 1967
We Can Work It Out- Rubber Soul, 1965
Come Together- Abbey Road, 1969
I Wanna Hold Your Hand- Meet The Beatles!, 1964
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-1967
Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967
Rain- Paperback Writer "B" side, 1966
Here Comes The Sun- Abbey Road, 1969
Saw Her Standing There- Please Please Me, 1963
Michelle- Rubber Soul, 1965
Revolution- The Beatles, 1968
Eleanor Rigby- Revolver, 1966
With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967
Hey Jude, 1968
Yesterday- Help!, 1965
Let It Be- Let It Be, 1970
I'll give you all i got to give if you say you'll love me too. i may not have a lot to give but what i got i'll give to you. i don't care too much for money. money can't buy me love.
Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night, 1964
All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967
Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird- The White Album, 1968
In My Life- Rubber Soul, 1965
While these are my 25 favorites, there are quite literally 1000s that could have been included. The Beatles' body of work is massive and there is something for everyone. If you have been living under a rock and haven't discovered the Fab Four, you have to get musically educated. Stream them on Spotify, find them on iTunes or even buy a CD or record (Yes, those still exist!). I would suggest starting with 1, which is a collection of most of their #1 songs, or the 1968 White Album. Give them chance and you'll never look back.
Obviously the best superpower..
The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.
1. "Haunt" your friends.
Follow them into their house and cause a ruckus.
2. Sneak into movie theaters.
Going to the cinema alone is good for your mental health , says science
Considering that the monthly cost of subscribing to a media-streaming service like Netflix is oft...
Free movies...what else to I have to say?
3. Sneak into the pantry and grab a snack without judgment.
Late night snacks all you want? Duh.
4. Reenact "Hollow Man" and play Kevin Bacon.
America's favorite son? And feel what it's like to be in a MTV Movie Award nominated film? Sign me up.
5. Wear a mask and pretend to be a floating head.
Just another way to spook your friends in case you wanted to.
6. Hold objects so they'll "float."
"Oh no! A floating jar of peanut butter."
7. Win every game of hide-and-seek.
Just stand out in the open and you'll win.
8. Eat some food as people will watch it disappear.
Even everyday activities can be funny.
9. Go around pantsing your friends.
Even pranks can be done; not everything can be good.
10. Not have perfect attendance.
You'll say here, but they won't see you...
11. Avoid anyone you don't want to see.
Whether it's an ex or someone you hate, just use your invisibility to slip out of the situation.
12. Avoid responsibilities.
Chores? Invisible. People asking about social life? Invisible. Family being rude? Boom, invisible.
13. Be an expert on ding-dong-ditch.
Never get caught and have the adrenaline rush? I'm down.
14. Brag about being invisible.
Be the envy of the town.
But don't, I repeat, don't go in a locker room. Don't be a pervert with your power. No one likes a Peeping Tom.
Good luck, folks.
There have been many lessons learned..
Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
Sometimes traditions seem like a silly thing, but the fact of it is that it's part of who you are. You grew up this way and, more than likely, so did your parents. It is something that is part of your family history and that is more important than anything.
No matter how many times they get on your nerves or make you mad, they are the ones who will always be there and you should never take that for granted.
When tragedy strikes in a small town, everyone feels obligated to help out because, whether directly or indirectly, it affects you too. It is easy in a bigger city to be able to disconnect from certain problems. But in a small town those problems affect everyone.
Along the same lines as #3, everyone is always ready and willing to lend a helping hand when you need one in a small town and to me that is the true meaning of community. It's working together to build a better atmosphere, being there to raise each other up, build each other up, and pick each other up when someone is in need. A small town community is full of endless support whether it be after a tragedy or at a hometown sports game. Everyone shows up to show their support.
People say this to others all the time, but it takes on a whole new meaning in a small town. It is true that life is about the journey, but when you're from a small town, you know it's about the journey because the journey probably takes longer than you spend at the destination. Everything is so far away that it is totally normal to spend a couple hours in the car on your way to some form of entertainment. And most of the time, you're gonna have as many, if not more, memories and laughs on the journey than at the destination.
Word travels fast in a small town, so don't think you're gonna get away with anything. In fact, your parents probably know what you did before you even have a chance to get home and tell them. And forget about being scared of what your teacher, principle, or other authority figure is going to do, you're more afraid of what your parents are gonna do when you get home.
Everyone deserves a chance. Most people don't have ill-intentions and you can't live your life guarding against every one else just because a few people in your life have betrayed your trust.
While small towns are not always extremely diverse, they do contain people with a lot of different stories, struggle, and backgrounds. In a small town, it is pretty hard to exclude anyone because of who they are or what they come from because there aren't many people to choose from. A small town teaches you that just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean you can't be great friends.
In a small town, you learn that it's okay to be who you are and do your own thing. You learn that confidence isn't how beautiful you are or how much money you have, it's who you are on the inside.
Nothing comes easy in life. They always say "gardens don't grow overnight" and if you're from a small town you know this both figuratively and literally. You certainly know gardens don't grow overnight because you've worked in a garden or two. But you also know that to get to the place you want to be in life it takes work and effort. It doesn't just happen because you want it to.
If you're from a small town, you know that you will probably only meet a handful of people in your life who ACTUALLY know where your town is. And forget about the people who accidentally enter into your town because of google maps. You've gotten really good at giving them directions right back to the interstate.
My small town has definitely taught me how to be humble. It isn't always about you, and anyone who grows up in a small town knows that. Everyone gets their moment in the spotlight, and since there's so few of us, we're probably best friends with everyone so we are as excited when they get their moment of fame as we are when we get ours.
Going to a small town high school definitely made me well-rounded. There isn't enough kids in the school to fill up all the clubs and sports teams individually so be ready to be a part of them all.
In a small town, good luck holding a grudge. In a bigger city you can just avoid a person you don't like or who you've had problems with. But not in a small town. You better resolve the issue fast because you're bound to see them at least 5 times a week.
One of my favorite things about growing up in a rural area was being able to go outside and go exploring and not have to worry about being in danger. There is nothing more exciting then finding a new place somewhere in town or in the woods and just spending time there enjoying the natural beauty around you.
You never know what may happen. If you get a flat tire, you better know how to change it yourself because you never know if you will be able to get ahold of someone else to come fix it. Mechanics might be too busy , or more than likely you won't even have enough cell service to call one.
It's okay to ask for help. One thing I realized when I moved away from my town for college, was how much my town has taught me that I could ask for help is I needed it. I got into a couple situations outside of my town where I couldn't find anyone to help me and found myself thinking, if I was in my town there would be tons of people ready to help me. And even though I couldn't find anyone to help, you better believe I wasn't afraid to ask.
When you're at least an hour away from normal forms of entertainment such as movie theaters and malls, you learn to get real creative in entertaining yourself. Whether it be a night looking at the stars in the bed of a pickup truck or having a movie marathon in a blanket fort at home, you know how to make your own good time.
It's all about knowing the person you are and not letting others influence your opinion of yourself. In small towns, there is plenty of gossip. But as long as you know who you really are, it will always blow over.
I have never been so thankful to know you..
I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.
You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.
Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.
SEE MORE: A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday
The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.
You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.
Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..
Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.
This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.
This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.
Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.
Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.
Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).
For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.
Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.
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1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society 2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook 3. Kristen Haddox , Penn State University 4. Jennifer Kustanovich , SUNY Stony Brook 5. Clare Regelbrugge , University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign
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"Creating, sharing, and amplifying disability media and culture"
“life is too short for someone else’s shame”: why i call myself a disabled writer, amanda leduc.
From 2008 – 2010, I lived for a time in Edinburgh, Scotland. One of the jobs I had while there was working in administration for an organization that provided support services to disabled people. I had started to be more open about my own disability, cerebral palsy, by that point in my life, though I hadn’t yet written much about it. One day my manager took me aside and mentioned that she couldn’t wait for the essays of mine that would one day come into the world.
“You’ll be known as a disabled writer,” she said. “And the insights that you have will be so valuable.”
“I’ll be a writer with a disability,” I said, instantly.
She just shook her head and smiled. “It’s the same thing.”
I disagreed with her, then. It took me years to understand why, and even more years to understand why I was wrong.
These years later, I now work for a literary festival in Canada . In this as well as my own work as a disabled writer, I’ve often encountered other writers who will talk about their disabilities in private but refrain from calling themselves disabled in the public space—in much the same way as I did in that conversation with my manager all those years ago.
As festivals, as arts organizations, we have a responsibility to ensure accurate representation of the disability community, which comprises roughly 20% of the population. But it can be hard to reflect that statistic when people don’t disclose. What happens, then, when you as an organizer know that you’re showcasing disabled artists—but only in secret?
To be clear: I don’t want people to disclose their disabilities if they’re uncomfortable doing so. I also want to acknowledge that it is often unsafe for many people to disclose disability publicly—from employment discrimination through to social discrimination, being open about one’s disabilities can often lead to further complications.
Instead I want to ask: what kind of world makes this discomfort possible? And what is it about this world that we can seek to change?
Part of the reason I was hesitant to call myself disabled was, for a long time, because of privilege. I am a white woman with mild cerebral palsy—I have a limp, and chronic pain, and all of this gets worse with fatigue. But I can also pass at times for someone who is able-bodied. I have a lot of non-disabled privilege even in spite of my disability, and for a long time I worried that claiming the word disabled for myself meant that I was taking space away from someone else who might deserve it more.
But what does this do, this assumption that there is only limited space for disability issues? It assumes that our concern for disability necessarily has limits—that there are some disabilities we’ll consider legitimate and others that we won’t. It also perpetuates the idea that disability is a niche interest—something that only impacts a few people with very specific conditions, when in fact disability is an incredibly wide umbrella. It covers conditions invisible and visible, mild and severe. It is a spectrum that touches almost everyone in some kind of way. Even if you live your life without a disability of some kind and are lucky enough to grow old, chances are you’ll encounter disability in some form as you age.
In refraining from calling myself disabled, I was perpetuating the idea, however unconsciously, and even in spite of my good intentions, that only a few people “deserve” the disabled identity, and thus only a few people deserve the accommodations that are a necessary part of thriving. This perpetuates the ableism that continues to disenfranchise disabled people in the first place, and reinforces the idea that disability issues do not affect or impact non-disabled society—because they only impact a few.
But that conversation with my manager those years ago also took the shape it did because I worried, at the time, that putting my disability first would somehow make me less—because I saw my disability as less. I saw writing about disability as niche, as not as interesting as writing about other things—because I saw disability as a niche interest, a single bookshelf in the bookstore as opposed to something that is, in fact, a universal consideration. In the community, this is what we call internalized ableism— the ways in which the ableist views of the disabled body as less-than weave and wind themselves through the disabled person’s understanding of society. It took a few more years of growth and understanding of my own disability and needs—as well as the gentle guidance of my disabled peers and fellow disabled writers—before I realized that my hesitancy was complicity, and that a significant part of my journey toward disability advocacy rested in claiming the term disabled for myself.
It took yet a few more years of growth after that to understand that there is no hierarchy when it comes to disability—that we are all of us entitled to what we need in order to thrive in the world. As a physically disabled woman who also has non-disabled privilege and mobility, the space that I occupy is different from that of a disabled person who might use a wheelchair, or have invisible disabilities. Accordingly, the accommodations and assistive devices that I need will be different from the accommodations that others might require—but all of our needs should be met regardless. Occupying my own disabled body and navigating my own disability challenges does not take away from or overshadow the needs of others—we need to make space for them all.
What does this mean, then, in public spaces? It means that I put cerebral palsy in my Twitter bio; when I go to festivals and speak at events in person and online, I call myself a disabled writer. I do this because I know that even though I am perfectly capable of talking about other things when it comes to writing apart from disability—ask me about structure, and world-building, and what kind of research one might need to do when writing a strange centaur novel —the fact is that my disability has influenced everything I write. I am who I am because of my disability and how it’s shaped my life, and I want the world to know this.
In calling myself a disabled writer, I also want the world to know and recognize that many aspects of disability—though not all!—are caused by the built environment, and that environment is a reflection of certain choices and decisions. We have the technology and the infrastructure to ensure an accessible environment for all who need it—the barriers to this are social more often than not. Just look at the ways in which accommodations that have long been fought for by disabled people—such as working from home, grocery delivery, and flexibility with class schedules and assignments—became available almost overnight for the majority of the population in the wake of the COVID-19 crisis.
So much of the world we live in is built on a “one-size-fits-all” approach, with the understanding that those who do not fit into this system must get left behind. But what happens when we say this isn’t good enough? What happens when we build a better world?
When I call myself disabled, and when I encourage those who are ready to claim the name for themselves—in much the same way that my fellow disabled writers once encouraged me—I am reaching for that world. The one where we all understand that there is no one-size-fits-all—that bodies come in different shapes and sizes, with varying levels of ability, and that it is our responsibility to meet all of these bodies in whatever ways we can. When I say that I am a disabled writer, I am saying that I do not think disabled is a bad word—that I can speak about disability in writing as well as a hundred other things. I am saying that disability has made me a better writer, because it keeps me alive to the ways in which the world treats those who are different, and reminds me of the ways in which I can use my words to fight for a world that is better than the one we have. And I am encouraging my fellow writers who might not yet be at that point to consider what it likewise might mean for them to claim the same.
When I call myself disabled, I am saying that the disability community is wide and bright and beautiful, and welcoming of all, and that we become stronger with every person who joins us. I call myself disabled so that others with disabilities across a wide spectrum might one day feel comfortable doing the same.
Because life is, indeed, too short for someone else’s shame.
Amanda Leduc is a disabled Canadian writer and author of the non-fiction book Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space , as well as the novel The Miracles of Ordinary Men . Her new novel, The Centaur’s Wife , is forthcoming from Random House Canada in February 2021. She has cerebral palsy and lives in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, where she serves as the Communications and Development Coordinator for the Festival of Literary Diversity , Canada’s first festival for diverse authors and stories.
Website: https://amandaleduc.com/
Twitter: @AmandaLeduc
Instagram: @amanda.leduc
Guest Blog Posts , Uncategorized
Ableism , Accessibility , coronavirus , Crip Lit , Disability identity , Disability Representation , Disabled writers , festivals , internalized ableism , Own Voices , Publishing , Systemic ableism
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