hamilton college supplemental essay 2023

Hamilton College

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Hamilton College’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Why this college short response.

Please take this opportunity to write about your interest in Hamilton and why you believe it is a place where you can thrive. Be open. Be honest. Be brief.

Diversity Short Response

We each bring different backgrounds and perspectives, and we teach one another about the world through our individual and shared experiences. How will Hamilton shape your perspective, and how will your perspective shape Hamilton?

Common App Personal Essay

The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don‘t feel obligated to do so.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you‘ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

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What are your chances of acceptance?

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A Great Hamilton Essay Example

What’s covered:, essay example.

• Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay

Hamilton College is a small liberal arts college in New York that is consistently ranked as one of the best liberal arts colleges in the country. As such a prestigious school, it’s no surprise it takes more than just high test scores to get into Hamilton, which means you need to have strong essays. In this post, we’ll share a real essay a student submitted to Hamilton, and outline its strengths and areas of improvement. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our Hamilton essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

Prompt: Please take this opportunity to write about your interest in Hamilton and, particularly, why you believe it is a place where you can thrive. Be open. Be honest. Be brief. (250 words max)

To My Darling Hamilton,

A flower so lovely, a heart so tender, Hamilton, we’re so perfect together that I’ve resolved to spend the next phase of my life in your endearing bosom. 

As an individual drawn towards medical research (and you, of course), I relish the privilege to expand on my medical interests in your Clintonian environment. I hope to work under Professor Vikranth Bejjanki in his unique research on using functional neuroimaging and computational modelling to discover novel ways of seeing the world. Hamilton, through your exhaustive courses like Cellular Neurobiology (357S) and your unique research opportunity with the Summer Science Research Fellowship, I’ll receive full-immersion experience that will help me achieve my aspiration of inventing a system that identifies and kills neurological tumors non-invasively.

I believe an individual must have a well-rounded education; you, my love, recognize this. Thus, while Professor Siobhan Robinson’s lectures would help shape my academic success, your Emerson Foundation Grant Program is crucial for enriching my curricular experience with solid out-of-class experiential knowledge. 

Oh, I see myself rummaging the 100+ laboratories in Taylor Science Center in search of deeper knowledge after taking on LRGG-funded researches—avenues crucial for my development as a scientific maestro. Meanwhile, with my fellow Continentals, I’ll be able to impact lives by transferring my Hamilton-instilled knowledge to younger generations through your HAVOC and LGR volunteering programs. 

Hamilton, your ‘light’ and ‘dark’ sides are the perfect vantage points for my well-rounded development. My darling, I can’t wait! 

With love, 

To-be-Continental Stephen.

What the Essay Did Well

Right off the bat, this essay gets points for the creative format. The idea of turning a basic “ Why School? ” essay into a love-letter to the college is so original and adds an extra level of charm to the essay. This doesn’t mean that you should write your essays as letters, but think of ways you can play with the traditional structure and it will really help your essay stand out.

On top of the creativity, this essay is jam-packed with opportunities and programs that are unique to Hamilton. This is the key in this type of essay. Your response should be highly-tailored to the specific school and explain how you will use each resource to achieve your future goals. 

This student doesn’t just name-drop professors and classes, he connects them to himself . We know that he wants to work with Professor Bejjanki to study functional neuroimaging so he can see the world in a new light. He wants to take Cellular Neurobiology so he can develop the skills to one day invent a non-invasive tumor killer. We don’t just learn why he wants to go to Hamilton, we also learn what his aspirations are after college, which makes him seem more impressive than a student who just wants to take a biology class so they can get into medical school.

What Could Be Improved

There’s not much that this essay needs to improve upon, however one small suggestion would be to make sure it doesn’t get too lost in the love-letter metaphor. The essay had a good balance of creativity and practical response, but it did feel a little heavy-handed at the beginning and end. It’s important that if you do choose a non-traditional essay format you don’t overshadow the actual content of your essay and leave the admissions officers reading your essay feeling lost or confused.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay 

Want feedback like this on your Hamilton essay before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

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Anyone here who applied early decision to Hamilton College? Can you share what was the supplemental essay?

Title! There's nothing about it on their website, and they wouldn't tell me what it was when I called the admissions office. I'd like to get a head-start and work on it from now. Thanks!

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Hamilton College Admissions Essay Examples

Year after year we are inundated with the same question: can we see some college essay examples? Although we do not share our clients’ work in order protect their privacy, we are happy to share some of the successful college essay examples provided by admissions committees across the country. So, without further ado, please find four successful personal statements submitted to Hamilton College below:

Aubrey Wallen ’26,

Lakeland, tenn.  .

75,000 flipped pages. 11,520 packed boxes. 6 school maps. 

I began measuring my life in flipped pages, packed boxes, and school maps when I was 6. As my family and I flitted between states and coasts for my father’s job over the last decade, I shielded myself with fantasy novels. With my head propped on the baseboard near my nightlight and a book held up in front of me by aching arms, I would dance in whimsical forests, fight daring battles, and rule dangerous courts long after dark. In my fantastic universe, I could take turns being the queen, the knight, the hero, and even the villain. These books helped me express the happiness, anger, sadness, and queerness I could not have even begun to imagine alone.

The characters I discovered in novels as I toured libraries and Barnes & Noble stores in strip malls around the country taught me resilience and empowered me to nourish my strengths. Mare Barrow showed me the power of determined women, and I unapologetically strove for academic excellence and obtained a GPA of 4.4. Tane, from The Priory of the Orange Tree, inspired me to push the limits of my own body, so I’ve traversed approximately 1,544 miles in cross-country races and practices. Evelyn Hugo’s unapologetic character compelled me to want to embrace and feel free with my queerness rather than shelter it away in a shameful corner. Even further, this year I am adding a third dimension to my love of fantasy by interpreting Mrs. White in my school’s production of Shuddersome and The Monkey’s Paw with assistance from Anne of Green Gables, my first fictional idol, who massively influenced my personality and tendency for dramatics. But above all, Leigh Bardugu, my favorite author, gave me permission to even dare to write and to dream that I can. 

What began as a safety net in my adolescence has grown to something more, a true passion for English and all that it can express. Language is power and I wish to wield it like a mighty sword. I want to be the puppetmaster, the speaker, and the leader in a world that is crafted in ink. I want to be a New York Timesbestseller and to know that whatever I do is impactful and that it creates a difference, no matter how small. I want to walk down a crowded street and see “my book” spread open in a passing person’s hands, as they refuse to put it down, just like I did so many times in the hallways of my middle school. A writer, a college professor, a publishing lawyer: I want it all, the riots of failure, and the pride of success. 

Without the assistance of literature, I wouldn’t be who I am today. If I hadn’t grown up fueled on library hauls I wouldn’t have discovered that I love English. I wouldn’t get shivers when I fret for a favorite character or celebrate their triumphs, be as ready to face obstacles, or be as adventurous as I am. Without the moves around the country and back, I wouldn’t have become so resilient and open to change, so adaptable to life, but most importantly I wouldn’t have become so in love with language. With every move I burrowed in books, and with every book I became me. Literature has made me in every way, and the only way I can repay it is to become the penman. 

Nicholas “Cole” Wassiliew ’26,

Bethesda, md..

I dreaded their arrival. The tyrannical cicadas swarmed DC and neighboring areas in 1987, 2004, and again in 2021. I was freaking about Brood X, the worst of them all. Brood X is a cluster of cicadas that descend on Washington, D.C., every 17 years. I live in the epicenter of their swarm. Cicadas battled with mosquitoes for first place in the top tier of the human annoyance pyramid. I hate these off-brand cockroaches.

For 17 years, cicadas live underground feasting off of sap, running free of danger. Then, they emerge and face the real world. That sounds familiar. I have lived in the same house, in the same town, for 17 years, with my parents feeding me pasta and keeping me safe.

Is it conceivable that I have more in common with cicadas than I previously thought? Cicadas have beady, red eyes. After a year of enduring Zoom classes, attending tele-health appointments, and spending too much time on social media and video games, I too feel a little blurry-eyed and disoriented. But what about their incessant hum and perpetual noise? That is not me. OK, maybe I do make protein shakes with a noisy blender at all hours of the day. Maybe I do FaceTime vehemently with friends, blare music while I shower, and constantly kick a ball around both inside the house and out.

At least I do not leave damaged wings, shedded skin, or rotting carcasses everywhere. Smelly soccer socks on the clean carpet after a long practice? Check. Pools of turf in the mudroom after sliding all over the field? You got it. Dirty dishes and trail mix stains after accidentally sitting on a mislaid M&M are hardly as abhorrent as cicada remains, right?

The more I reflected, the more I realized these bugs and I are more alike than different. After 17 years of being cooped up, we are both antsy to face new experiences. Of course, cicadas want to broaden their wings, fly, and explore the world, even if it means clumsily colliding into people’s faces, telephone poles, and parked cars. Just like I want to shed my skin and escape to college, even if it means getting lost on campus or ruining a whole load of laundry. Despite all my newbie attributes, I am proceeding to the next phase of my life whether I am ready or not.

Only the hardiest of cicadas survive their emergence and make it to trees to mate, lay eggs, and ensure the existence of their species. I want to be a tenacious Brood X cicada. I will know what it means to travel into the wrong classroom before getting laughed at, bump into an upperclassman before dropping textbooks everywhere, fail an exam after thinking I aced it. I may even become the cicada of the lecture hall by asking a professor for permission to go to the bathroom. Like cicadas, I will need time to learn how to learn.

No matter what challenge I undergo that exposes and channels my inner-cicada, novice thought process, I will regroup and continue to soar toward the ultimate goal of thriving in college.

When I look beyond our beady red eyes, round-the-clock botherment, and messy trails, I now understand there is room for all creatures to grow, both cicadas and humans. Cicadas certainly are on to something … Seventeen years is the perfect amount of time to emerge and get ready to fly.

Catherine “Cate” van den Beemt ’26,

Freeland, md..

I was born to two moms. One, my biological mom, Meredith. One, my mom who adopted me, Mary. Because they were a same-sex couple, the law required that Mary adopt me in order to be my parent. They used Sperm Donor 3311. All I know about my “father” is that he didn’t have a familial history of cancer, he has a twin brother who is 6’4″, and he studied math in school. This is all background information; I don’t even know his name. He doesn’t know mine, nor does he know that I even exist. People often ask “What does your father do for a living?” and I’m forced to respond “I actually have two moms,” triggering reactions like that of my driving instructor, “Oh, well that must be different.” I’m 17-years-old and still don’t know how to respond to these comments. 

When I was 5, Mary, who had been sick for a long time with leukemia, passed away, and my life was turned upside down. I was old enough to understand grief, and yet I still question why it happened. It was terrifying seeing my mom break down while saying, “Mom died last night.” I wonder what I missed out on and carry guilt that I don’t remember much about Mary, because we just didn’t have enough time together. Many say grief gets easier with time, however, I think the way you grieve just changes over time. 

The world kept spinning and, in 2011, my biological mom met another woman, who soon became my stepmom. However, to me, Kerry is also my mom. No longer do I reveal the fact that I have two moms; now I get reactions to the fact that I have three. 

Not knowing my father doesn’t leave a void in my life. “Dad” didn’t sing “there was an old lady who swallowed a fly” and tickle me when the old lady swallowed the spider, my moms did. He didn’t take me to Gunpowder Friends Meeting where I shook hands and spent time with 80-year-old friends from the retirement home, my moms did. He didn’t console me when I began crying at the dry-erase board at school because it reminded me of white boards Mom wrote on when she was unable to talk. He didn’t teach me that love is love. He didn’t teach me who I was becoming, my moms did that. 

I’ve never known my father or that I was supposed to have one, so why would I think my life is any different from the so-called “norm?” If there’s one thing I have learned from my parents, it’s that I have developed a love for difference. I openly accept all those around me and excitedly anticipate the relationships that I will build in my future. There is no such thing as a normal family structure, and my upbringing has given me that greater world view. My moms have raised me to believe that I can accomplish anything. There are still limits, though. My family chooses not to travel to Jamaica because we aren’t accepted there. Before each family vacation, we must research to see if it is a gay-friendly place. I don’t know the answers to questions about my dad’s side of the family. But I don’t let those kinds of things get to me because instead I can talk about the people who raised me. The world is changing as we speak. “Normal” is fading, but it has already disappeared for me. I don’t want anything different than the family I have, and I own that every day.

Daniel “Deni” Galay ’26,

London, england.

“The difference between an anti-personnel and an anti-tank mine is not that complicated,” I am told casually, in halting Russian, by a boy even younger than I am during a walk through the Chechen mountains. I am freshly 14 and visiting my father’s homeland for the first time, unfamiliar with the harsh realities that kids half my age already know ironclad. My guide points out the areas where the grass is overgrown and the fruit trees abundant. People and animals alike know to avoid them; someone has learned of landmines the hard way. It shouldn’t surprise me — the scars of war on this rugged country are omnipresent — but it is so jarringly different from my life in London that it is nevertheless hard to digest.

It also differs from my father’s rosy stories about his childhood in Katyr-Yurt, stories that made me wish to swim carefree in icy rivers, devour handfuls of fresh sour cherries straight from the tree, and see nights dense with stars. I still experience these beauties of place, but my eyes are now open to the less romanticized parts, both enriching and complicating my connection to my family’s past. Suddenly, too, I am made uncomfortably aware of the conflicting layers of my familial identity. It is the Russian of my Muscovite, Jewish mother that I grew up speaking at home. Yet the Chechen children speak in broken Russian, and the grownups who are more fluent in it are not keen to communicate in the enemy’s language. Seeing the ugly scars of war, both physical and psychological, I cannot help but feel like an intruder, ashamed not only of my Russianness but also of my city-boy naivete. Despite this shame, I yearn to discover what it means to be Chechen, to see their home through their eyes, and through this desire, I begin to feel a deep connection all of my own to this beautiful, fraught land. 

In Moscow, my new awareness of conflicting identities only intensifies, but now on account of the maternal side of my heritage. Relatives there largely see Chechens as terrorists and raise an eyebrow when they hear where I have spent my summer. Babushka’s neighbour, a nurse who witnessed the carnage from the theatre siege in Moscow, turns away disgustedly when she overhears me relate the beauty of the mountains and the notable generosity of the people. Once again, I register the fear and distrust of “the other” that reigns in the more homogeneous cultures in Russia, making me appreciate the diversity of London all the more. 

When I return there, I cannot slip back into life as normal as I have done after past summers. I find myself pondering the question of identity and the way people interpret their own past, informed just as much by collective emotion and memory as by fact. The cosmopolitanism of London is just as I remembered it, but the things I loved about it I now see in a new light. I had always revelled in the fact that, despite our differences in heritage, my peers and I had seen each other as the same — bound together by being Londoners first and foremost. Now I am interested in conversations that I would never have considered previously, wanting not only to share my newfound experiences but also learn about the personal histories of my friends, many of whom, like me, are the children of immigrants to the UK. When did they come to explore and interrogate their own complicated identities? How did these discoveries make them feel? What does it mean to carry the stories, the poetry, and the pain of so many places within them? Questions like these, which were so important for me to answer about myself, also became a powerful place from which to understand more deeply the people around me and the complex world we share.

Zachary Yasinov ’26,

Syosset, n.y..

I know that I had prepared well for this moment. For two arduous months, I readied my fingers for an exciting concert. No anxiety could undermine my confidence in my preparation, and my piano recital’s success was “in the bag.” I selected three pieces for my repertoire: the ambience of Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No. 1 as the opener, a somber contemplation of Beethoven’s First Movement of the Moonlight Sonata , and Bach’s light and surreal Prelude in C Major for the conclusion.

My shining moment arrived, and I strode purposefully toward the piano. The building in which my performance was held was new, but its dwellers were old. Respect and prestige permeated the atmosphere as I took each stride to my seat. As I sat down, the chair creaked and moaned as if in sympathy with the audience’s aching desire to hear me play. I prepared my sheet music and commenced my epic moment.

Never was such an exhilarating performance heard. All of the little techniques and tricks that I practiced were executed perfectly. I captured the dynamics I wanted to express in Satie’s phonological experiment with each chord to which I applied varying pressure. Moving onto one of Beethoven’s most famous works, I crafted the cascading arpeggios of each new chord, which resonated unity uninterrupted in me and in the audience. When I concluded with the airy prelude from Bach’s Well-Tempered Clavier , the room swelled with bliss. Having poured my heart and soul into each piece, I beamed with pride.

As customary for a stellar show, I rose to bow to the audience to thank them for their eruption of applause. Flowers were thrown, cheers elicited, and standing ovations bestowed. From the subsiding din came a faint question to rain on my parade: “Could you play something more lively, darling, say, a Neil Diamond song?”

I work on weekends at a long-term-care facility, and my geriatric audience, although a pleasure with whom to interact, can be brutally honest. Begrudgingly, I thanked Mrs. Hersch for her request, promised her better next time, and stewed in my own irrelevance. Going home that day, my feathers were ruffled. How could any civilized listener, after such a superb medley, disregard such time-honored compositions? The notion was absurd.

Yet perhaps more outlandish, as I later acknowledged, was my visceral reaction to the events that had transpired. Why did I react hesitantly to a simple request made in earnestness? It would have been easier, in fact, to practice “Sweet Caroline” than to break my fingers over Beethoven’s work. Then, in my moments of introspection, I concluded that my choice of musical pieces mattered little as long as my audience enjoyed them. Whether it meant recreating the most tortured and heinously composed pop song or a masterfully crafted Romantic concerto, I vowed to play them all.

Throughout my life, my adult mentors have succored me with platitudes when most needed, which laid the foundation for my confidence. Yet, while working with people who have lived five times longer than I have, experiencing so much more than I can imagine, I know that the world does not revolve around my tastes and interests. I’m okay with that. Thus, for a couple of hours each day in the living room, unlucky family members passing by are subjected to the torment of my tenth run-through of “Sweet Caroline” as I prepare for my next recital for an audience that has taught me more about personal preferences, and myself, than I anticipated.

Katherine “Katy” Appleman ’26,

Pittsburgh, pa..

I have never felt such palpable emotion, such profound grief emanating from a space, as I did while hiking through the forest fire scorch in Philmont, New Mexico. A universe had once existed under the protection of these Ponderosa Pine, now black and crusted, turning brittle in the wind. It was a landscape that didn’t sing its laments, but whispered of its loss through every pile of scalded timber and skinny, wavering shadow cast by the hollow towers of ash.

I felt prepared when I made the decision to become a scout. I love nature and camping. I love the Scouts BSA program. I love the people. I was definitely not prepared, however, for the numerous challenges I would face during my years as a scout.

I was the first female “boy scout” in my town, which continues to be both my greatest honor and a constant reminder of the isolation and insecurity that comes with being any “first.” I became a symbol, whether for good or bad, and my actions not only spoke of me, but of the future young women in Scouts BSA. I felt like an imposter.

I wasn’t a strong-willed leader like those who usually have “first” stitched into their title. My seventh-grade acting career did little to veil a shy and insecure girl who crumbled at overheard comments on how I didn’t belong or how girls like me were poisoning BSA’s spirit. As time passed, I found myself waiting to develop the toughened heart that the leaders that I knew held. As my troop and I backpacked in Philmont Scout Ranch this past summer, my doubts and insecurities seemed to echo from this inky forest.

Coming from Pittsburgh, I had expected the kind of desert with raspy air and coat hanger cacti. Nothing quite shattered this expectation as much as putting on my last pair of dry socks before the fourth day of downpours. We navigated steep cliffs and vibrant meadows, and pulled ourselves up peak after peak. As the sun set on one of our final evenings, the flat, mountain-ornamented horizon gave way to a modest footpath, daring into a new forest. This forest, differing from the field of burnt pines we had seen prior, had burned several decades ago. The fire had cleared everything and had left its signature singed onto the bottom 10 feet of every tree. The forest floor was clean. Wild grasses with accents of purple and blue flowers blanketed the ground below the pines like snow, which had fallen while the world was asleep, completely untouched and extending to infinity. Above the burnt limbs of the trees, thick bundles of green needles soared into the sky.

Not long after Philmont, I was awarded my Eagle Rank, the culmination of my experience as a scout. I believe that my time in Scouts BSA has been the first to the forest that is my life. Though scars remain from my experience, new change and strength have flourished out of the damage.

I have come to the conclusion that it is not always the fierce leader who becomes a “first.” It is the extra hours. It is finding a way to listen to criticism and try harder, rather than feel the thorns. It is using one’s own feeling of isolation to see others who feel alone. It is the act of going through the fire and staying with it, allowing it to advance you, which changes people who dare to be a “first” into the leaders that they go down in history as being.

As I think back on my experience in Philmont, the first forest we saw, this blackened graveyard, is what I picture. I remember the charcoaled ground so vividly, but more so, I remember the soft purple wildflowers hidden in the desert soil. Though few and far between, against the grieving timber, they were stars.

Claire Lazar ’26,

New york, n.y..

I’m 6. The sounds of hornpipe and laughter drift across the gymnasium-turned-cafeteria-turned-auditorium. Mum caught me dancing to some of her old Irish tapes — the Chieftains, Sinead O’Connor. She asked me if I wanted to do it for real. I said sure and went back to dancing. Now a freckled woman digs around in a cardboard box and pulls out a pair of dusty, worn black shoes. “Don’t worry,” she says, “you’ll learn eventually.” The shoes are too big; they sag at the toes. I approach the stage. Twenty-five pairs of eyes fix on me. In a room bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I feel like a clown in an ill-fitting costume. All that matters is the dancing.

I’m 9. I sit in the hallway of the Times Square Marriott watching girls in big wigs and sparkly dresses run around, squawking like glamorous, unhinged chickens. In my tartan skirt and simple bun, I feel like an ugly duckling. The bobby pins dutifully securing my bun in place make my scalp ache. My hands slide to my shoes. They’re too tight. Mum put them on her feet to “try and stretch them out a little.” I pass some over-enthusiastic dance moms who put the “mother” in “smother.” I reach the stage. A hundred pairs of eyes fix on me. In a hotel bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I’m out of place. All that matters is the dancing.

I’m 12. My brain won’t stop flipping through disastrous scenarios as I stand with my teammates in a hotel in Orlando, Florida. We’ve trained for months, sacrificed everything for this moment. I try to think of happy things: the pride on Dad’s face when he watches me dance, the freedom of flying across a stage on invisible wings. We recite our steps like a poem, the sequences like a song that carries us through an ocean of fiddles, pipes, and drums. My parents sacrificed a lot to send me here. I want to make them proud. I want to make myself proud. We approach the national stage. A thousand pairs of eyes fix on me. In a world bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I feel like a fraud. All that matters is the dancing.

I’m 15. An Irish accent lilts through the ballroom of the World Championships. It sounds like mashed potatoes and Sunday bests and the green hills of home that I know so well. We mutter a prayer. I’m not sure I believe in God, though I should. I look at my partner and wish we were more than friends. She smiles. I don’t think God believes in me. We ascend the stage. A million pairs of eyes fix on me. In a universe bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I’ll never be enough. All that matters is the dancing.

I’ll be 18. Murmuring voices will hover in the air of the gymnasium-turned-cafeteria-turned-auditorium. A little girl will approach me timidly, wearing a very old tartan skirt. I’ll reach out softly, adjusting her bun to soothe her aching scalp. Then, I’ll slide my hands toward her feet, toward a pair of small, dusty shoes. “You’ll learn,” I’ll say. They’ll sag at the toes, but I’ll reassure her: “Don’t worry. You’ll grow into them.” Then, she and I will look at my own beloved shoes. They’ll be worn, but I’ll tell her the creases are like a map, evidence of the places I’ve been, the heartbreaks I’ve suffered, the joy I’ve danced. My life is in these shoes. We’ll hear the music begin to play, the tide of fiddles, and pipes, and drums. I’ll take her hand and, with a deep breath, we’ll climb the stage. “Ahd mor.” It won’t matter that this is the end. All that has ever mattered is the dancing.

Katherine “Kat” Showalter ’26,

Los altos, calif.  .

The black void descends toward the young girl standing in the grassy field. It slowly creeps up on her, and as it reaches for her perfectly white dress … Swipe. I quickly wipe away the paint without a thought except for panic. Before I realize what I have done, the black droop becomes an ugly smear of black paint. The peaceful picture of the girl standing in the meadow is nowhere to be seen. Even though I successfully avoid having the spilled paint touch the dress, all I can focus on is the black smudge. The stupid black smudge. As I continue to stare at the enemy in front of me, I hear Bob Ross’s annoyingly cheerful voice in my head: “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” At this moment, I completely disagree. There is nothing happy about this, only frustration.

Actually, there is one other emotion: excitement. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not excited about making a mistake and definitely not happy about the accident. But I am thrilled at the challenge. The black smudge is taunting me, challenging me to fix the painting that took me hours to do. It is my opponent, and I am not planning to back off, not planning to lose.

Looking back at the painting, I refuse to see only the black smudge. If lacrosse has taught me one thing, it is that I will not be bested by my mistakes. I snatch my picture and run downstairs, carefully setting it against the living room window. The TV newscaster drones in the background, “California continues to be engulfed in flames as the fires continue to burn.” I slowly step back from my painting. California fires, I think, as I look up into the blood-orange sky. California Fires! I look at the painting, imagining the black smudge not as a black void, but smoke creeping up on the girl as she watches the meadow burn.

I grab my painting and run back to my room. The orange sky casts eerie shadows as I throw open my blinds. My hands reach first toward the reds, oranges, and yellows: reds as rich as blood; oranges as beautiful as California poppies; yellows as bright as the sun. I splatter them on my palette, making a beautiful assortment of colors that reminds me of one thing: fire. A rich, beautiful, bright thing, but at the same time, dangerous. My hand levitates toward the white and black. White, my ally: peaceful, wonderful, simple white. Black, my enemy: annoying, frustrating, chaotic black. I splat both of them onto a different palette as I create different shades of gray.

My brush first dips into red, orange, and yellow as I create the flame around the girl. The flame engulfs the meadow, each stroke of red covering the serene nature. Next is the smoke, I sponge the dull colors onto the canvas, hazing over the fire and the trees, and, most importantly, hiding the smudge.

But it doesn’t work. It just looks like more blobs to cover the black smudge. What could make the gray paint turn into the hazy clouds that I have been experiencing for the past several days? I crack my knuckles in habit, and that’s when a new idea pops into my head. My calloused fingers dip into the cold, slimy gray paint, which slowly warms as I rub it between my fingers. My fingers descend onto the canvas, and as they brush against the fabric, I can feel the roughness of the dried paint as I add the new layer. As I work, the tension from my body releases. With each stroke of my fingers, I see what used to be the blobs turn into the thing that has kept me inside my house for weeks. As I lift my last finger off the canvas, I step back and gaze at my new creation. I have won.

Want to work one-on-one with an Advisor from our team to draft your own winning essay? Get in touch! 

About Kat Stubing

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Admitted Essay for Hamilton College: Essay Review

With Only So Many Words To Express Themselves, Students Often Find College Essays Difficult To Write…

This is especially true when students are asked one of the most common college essay prompts: why this college? In this article, we’ll analyze a personal statement that helped a student get admitted to Hamilton College. We’ll give you the expert breakdown of what makes this essay work, where it could shine even more, and how you can apply this advice to your own essay.

An Admitted Essay For Hamilton College

Why do you want to attend Hamilton College?

“Hamilton College is a liberal arts college set apart from its peers. The interactions that I have had with Hamilton faculty and alumni have shown me that Hamilton is a place where I will be challenged intellectually to explore ideas more deeply and share those ideas with greater sophistication than I ever have. Hamilton’s open curriculum and commitment to exquisite writing would provide me with the opportunity to try many different disciplines while developing the ability to communicate with others well. This experience would make me a more effective intellectual because I will have gained a broad base of skills that are transferable to any endeavor. In my conversations with Ms. Phyllis Breland she has shown me that Hamilton is a place where I will be supported by a network of people who all wish to see me reach my greatest potential. Hamilton has the resources necessary to support a student in any endeavor as long as he or she is willing to work hard. The immersive study abroad program in France that Hamilton supports has a reputation for being one of the best in the world as well as one of the oldest. Because of Hamilton’s requirement for students to take classes taught in French I would develop a deep mastery of the language that would not occur otherwise. This is a unique opportunity that few other colleges could offer. My experiences at Hamilton have proven to me that it is a place where I can thrive.”

Our Expert Review

Immediately, the student begins to answer the question posed by the prompt in-depth and with personal detail. In general, answering the prompt as soon as possible results in the best essay. Here, the student goes to great lengths to emphasize why they’re excited to potentially attend Hamilton College and why the education they would receive can’t be found anywhere else. The personal statement is brief due to the word count requirement, but the student spends the time to make sure their knowledge of Hamilton and the type of education offered there goes beyond the surface points one would find on their website. They also connect these offerings back to their own passions and interests.

Throughout the essay, the student also references their past experiences with Hamilton College and its alumni. Not only do they use these experiences to connect to their own passions and dreams, but they also help the student more fully answer the question posed by the prompt: why Hamilton College?

Yet even in this excellent essay, there is room for the student to better present themselves.

While the language, style, and structure of the essay do work, further revision could help it read with more clarity and emotional strength. Better word choice and work toward developing a smoother reading flow would help this student better showcase why they are drawn to Hamilton College. Overall, while this essay is excellent, it could have benefited from one more draft before being sent out.

How To Apply This Advice To Your Own College Essays

Go into detail.

With so much information available on the web, students have the opportunity to get into detail about what draws them to a school beyond just the culture and program offerings. Your essay should go beyond surface details too - perhaps you’re drawn to the ideas of a particular professor rather than just their major, or you want to participate in the college’s historic debate team due to your own fierce love of debate. When you get into detail about what the school has to offer that would help you nurture your passions and hone your talents, you show the ability to put your education to good use.

• Name one specific feature that draws you to this college. How can you relate this back to your own passions, talents, interests, or goals?
• Could your essay apply to any number of schools in the area? How can you make your essay more specific?

FOCUS ON FLOW

One way to make your personal statement stand out is to focus on the flow and structure of the essay. A great way to do this is to read your essay out loud during the revision process. This helps you catch words, phrases, and sometimes even entire sentences that feel out of place or too wordy.

In addition, your essay should flow in a logical order as well. In this essay, the student starts off strong and builds on their ideas, yet begins to flip back and forth between their past experiences and their potential future at Hamilton at dizzying speed. A further revision would help this student rearrange a few sentences in a more logical order, combining to have a huge effect on the way the essay reads.

• How does your essay sound when read out loud?
• Do your sentences flow together logically? Do you build on each idea in order, or do you jump around making several points at once?
• Are you making use of words with strong emotional connotations to help bridge ideas together?

REVISE YOUR ESSAY

This student’s essay, while it answers the prompt, could benefit from further revision. Many students believe they don’t have to edit their essays at all; or if they do, they only go over it once to proofread. The best college applications have been read through and revised several times, often with the help of trusted outsiders who can go over the essay with a fresh set of eyes. Therefore, make it point to revise each of your essays at least once, if not several times. When you believe you’re satisfied with what you have, ask your college counselor to look over it. Often, they’ll help you improve in ways you may have never thought of!

If you struggle with the revision phase, printing out your essay can be a game-changer. Not only will you have room to make colorful notes, the change from screen to paper can help take your brain off autopilot, helping you catch mistakes and flex your creativity.

• Who can you reach out to in order to take your essay to the next level?
• Can you expand upon any ideas to showcase my talents, abilities, or accomplishments?
• Are you fully answering the prompt, or do you need to be more direct?

Refining Your Personal Statement Is Worth It

Taking the time to carefully structure your essay and revise it several times can pay off with admission into your dream school. After all, it’s extremely rare for the first draft of anything to be the best draft.

However, it’s important to remember: It’s hard to get a fresh perspective on something you never walk away from.

After you write your essay and between each round of revisions, let yourself focus on other things for at least a few hours, preferably a few days. While you hang out with friends or focus on other parts of your applications, the gears in the back of your head will be turning over the ideas you wrote in your essay. When you return to revise again, you’ll often find yourself with more ideas than you did during the first draft!

Of course, sometimes it can be difficult to find the right idea to answer a prompt even during the first draft. No matter what phase of the college essay writing process you’re in, our WeAdmit counselors have been in your shoes before and would love to offer a helping hand. We’ll work with you to not only refine your personal statements, but through any other part of the college process that you find yourself having trouble with!

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Tips for a Good College Essay

Hamilton: words matter.

As a college with a long tradition of emphasizing writing and speaking as cornerstone values, we like to say that students come to Hamilton to find their voice. In our admission process, we seek students who embody that aspiration and demonstrate that potential in their application essays and short-answers, and their communication with us.

But don’t let that intimidate you. Really good writing is hard, and takes lots of practice (and you will get plenty of that in college!). We do not expect perfection, but we do hope to get to know you a little bit better through your writing. Think of it as your chance to have a voice, and a seat at the table with the admission committee who is reading your application. What do you want them to know about you?

The Hamilton Admission Team offers these tips for you to consider when sitting down to write your college application essays.

College Essay Tips

• It goes without saying that your essay needs to be written by you.  Believe it or not, the voice of a teenager is very different from a parent’s, and we’ve gotten pretty good at spotting the differences.
• Choose a topic that’s right for YOU – something about which you’re passionate. If you’re not interested in what you’re writing about, chances are no one will be interested in reading it. The best ideas for topics come when you least expect them...write them down as soon as you are inspired, and keep a running list on your phone.
• Share something that’s unique to your experience, or information that we’re unlikely to learn about you elsewhere in your application. Most important is for you to be real and be yourself; unless you want to be a theatre major, it is way too hard to try to be what you think we want you to be. (And, truly, we just want you to be you.)
• In sharing something about yourself, you don’t need to share everything about yourself. It is ok to be personal, and writing about growth and mistakes is good (perhaps even welcomed); but resist the urge to be too casual or to over-share.
• If you are passionate about an issue, don’t avoid it because it may be controversial. At the same time, your essay topic does not have to be world-changing and does not have to demonstrate you are perfect. Sometimes the simplest topic leads to the best essay.
• Be a good storyteller. Use a strong opener – catch our attention right from the start. Poignant moments in time, with a little bit of reflection, often make great essays.
• Show rather than tell. Use anecdotes, examples, and descriptions. Make it your best, most engaging writing. Trim the fat. (And resist the urge to use the thesaurus!)
• Revise often and early, proofread carefully, read it aloud, and don’t be afraid to start over. It is ok to have someone else look over the essay to help you catch things you missed, but don’t over-edit and make it sound like a research paper. 
• Remember, substance and voice are better than perfection.
• You’ve got a great essay in you!

Sevin Sins of Writing

Professors at Hamilton work closely with students to improve their writing. It’s a process that combines instruction, collaboration, and practice. And while accuracy in style and grammar is just one element of what makes good writing, the Writing Center offers these handy tips.

Essays that Worked

We have collected just a few of the exceptional essays written by newly enrolled Hamilton students (with their permission, of course). They offer a glimpse into the diverse backgrounds and experiences, as well as the writing talents, of our newest Hamiltonians. Enjoy!

Office of Admission

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So Many Supplemental Essays

Last year my 2024 graduate applied to 11 that had supplemental essays as part of of the application. She wrote more than 20 essays. Some were re-usable and only needed to be re-worked…but still, sometimes a similar topic is assigned at different schools and at one school it’s 150 words and at another it’s 300 or more so it’s like writing a whole new essay. It is SO MUCH work. Most schools that had supplementals only had one or two. But some schools she applied to had 4 or 5 supplements. I think this is crazy and wonder why schools do this.

As I start early to think about college options for my 2026 grad, I am hoping to help guide her to create a college list that takes into account the workload of all the supplements. One of her top choices has SEVEN (granted one of the 7 is just a short list but the other six require actual writing) and its a huge reach so very unlikely to get in…maybe it’s not even worth trying? But I hope she does.

Why do colleges do this? They can get a good sense of a candidate through a couple of essays…why so many? I would actually love to hear from an AO as to what the thinking is around assigning so many.

In my non-AO opinion, I think well written supplements can help with yield prediction and it also helps pare down applications to kids who really want those schools.

It’s also why I cringe when I see kids with 20+ schools on their list. My D applied to 8 and had to write 18 unique essays. It’s a ton of work!

I agree it can be a way to cut down on the number of apps (some schools have stopped requiring a supplemental essay and their app numbers increased.) It’s also a way to differentiate between applicants…meaning it can be clear who didn’t take the time to create good supplemental responses.

With that said, some schools take responses to supplemental materials in context, for example, students from under-resourced HSs aren’t expected to necessarily have top notch essays and/or short answer responses.

I get that. And I’m not entirely opposed to supplemental essays. I just can’t understand why a school would require 4,5, 6 or 7(!) supplements. Wonder which school requires the most?

BTW - I also agree that some schools use “no supplement” as a way to bump up applications and resulting selectivity. Ahem…Northeastern.

It is crazy! Even if they are just short answer responses, it’s time consuming and requires some thought and/or research.

Good question, not sure!! USC Dornsife requires 3 essays and 12 short answer responses (3 of the 12 are just one word.) Georgetown has 4 essays. I think the UC PIQs are tough, as are the U Chicago essays (2 supplementals.)

Columbia has five ranging from 100-150 words. The school at Cornell that S25 is applying to has one, but it’s a LONG one plus there is another one for all Cornell applicants. I’m not sure which is worse - a bunch of short responses or one that feels like you are writing a class paper.

Agree with all the above. Was discussing applications with a friend and she told me a broad list of which/how many schools (Ivy’s, T20, UCs, etc) to which her D25 was considering applying. My first comment was, has she looked at how many supplementals she will need to write for those schools? She looked at me with a blank stare as she obviously had no idea.

If the supplementals cut down on the number of “no chance in %^&” applications it’s a good thing for everyone.

Not that I love this logic, but more essays, particularly more essays that are not of the sort easily satisfied with rewritten essays, presumably help determine even higher levels of real interest.

Yea, I mean you’re right but…ugh.

Since the Common App, the number of schools kids apply to has gone up to so many schools. Some even apply to 20.

Essay readers here on CC can attest to the fact that once working with a kid on an essay, we may end up helping with upwards of 10-15 essays in some instances.

One solution is to apply to fewer schools. Back in the day my kids only applied to schools they actually visited. Quaint! (We were frugal and only drove…) My kids applied to 2, 4 and 6 schools respectively and the 6 only because it included conservatories and colleges. Fifteen years or so ago. Two of them did essays on December 31. Now they start in the summer or even earlier. So much anxiety.

Another solution is to stop making such a big deal about those short answers. Honestly applicants are trying to make “unique” essays about of a simple question like “Why X College.” They research and mention classes and professors and it is just so time consuming.

In fact with my kids, if they were applying now, I would deemphasize essays in general - partly because I don’t believe most essays move the needle and partly to reduce stress.

I wish colleges would get rid of the question about overcoming challenges. Kids actually feel they are failing the essay if they haven’t suffered enough. I had one kid writing about being in a Kenyan refugee camp and one kid writing about the challenge of losing a soccer game. I am digressing…

It certainly seems that asking for numerous essays is a way of winnowing out non-serious applicants to protect yield. I still think actually visiting is a better way to show interest (and urge students to mention visits in their “Why us” essays). I believe colleges keep track.

This is because that’s what the schools tend to want and students know this from in person/virtual visits. At the school where I read apps the supplementals are important and >>>>> the common app personal statement.

Generally these essays are truly optional.

Depends on how the student covers this. Don’t talk about the beautiful campus, or gothic architecture, for example.

Separately, and IMO of course, it’s really difficult for people who aren’t current on college admissions, meaning listening/talking to admissions staff webinars/presentations and the like to give good advice on essay content. Note I am not talking about structuring essays or editing grammar. I do agree that at many schools (tend to be less selective schools that don’t even have supplementals), the common app personal statement is not that important.

Not to go off on a tangent but some of the “Why us” essays lack authenticity in my view. I would rather see something about class size, undergrad focus, outdoor or cultural activities nearby rather than how they want to work with Prof. so and so on such and such. So many do the latter and it just must seem tiresome. How refreshing it would be to read something from someone who visited and shared their impressions. Young people tend to make gut decisions. We can agree to disagree! @Mwfan1921 clearly you have a lot more experience and contacts.

I think people who get info on ultimate results from essay writers can have some idea of what works. Authenticity, likability and of course interesting.

We attended an admissions session at an elite school with several supplementals. They were clear that they prioritize their supplementals and that they read the Common App essay last, if they read it at all.

Why supplementals? While loads of applications bring down their acceptance rate, the AO really need to know if their university is a priority to the applicant. If accepted, will the student attend? Asking university specific questions lets them know how much the student knows about the institution and allows them to assess if the student will be a good fit.

My daughter is currently a senior applying to schools. She already fired off an application to Northeastern b/c “why not? there are no supplementals”.

She came up with a list of safety schools and eliminated all with supplemental essays. Has sent applications her 2 “no extra essay” safeties.

Currently working on supplementals for most of the remaining schools on her list…

Any of these can work! It’s important to give admissions what they want though…as communicated in live/virtual admissions sessions, or even a personal conversation with one’s AO. Obviously that does take time, but it allows the schools to gauge fit like @lkg4answers said, and also helps the student know if the school is a fit too (which many students just don’t care about, they only want schools with a low acceptance rate.)

Totally agree.

Thats a good strategy IMO. One thing my daughter did to reduce her essay workload…she chose not to write the supplemental essay at two schools that SHE considered safeties.

(I considered one of them a high safety and the other a low target)

She was admitted to the high safety without even writing the supplemental essay. She was deferred at the low target. (And then withdrew that app after being admitted to her top choice).

Definitely some risk in foregoing the supplement…but if a school is truly a safety it may still work out.

The supplementals are a pretty useless anachronism IMO. By now the schools should be aware that many are written by advisors or AI anyway. For example, the general consensus is that the “why us” essay should somehow regurgitate stuff from the school’s vision…how is that useful to anyone? The schools tell you to “just be yourself” in your essays but you know that if you don’t tell them things they like to hear you could be disadvantaged…it is a strange system

Instead of supplemental essays, northeastern uses campus visits and such to gauge applicant interest.

I don’t believe that’s true based on my experiences. Do you have a citation?

Big picture, the essays will never be as important as grades, rigor, and test scores (school dependent wrt test scores.)